Monday, January 30, 2012

Then vs. now. There vs. here.

Dez is almost 9 months old.

I moved to Guate when E was 6 1/2 months old. Once Dez hit that mark, Russ and I exhaled a little bit. We've done this before! Experience in parenting removes a lot of the scary stuff.

I will say that being a mom in the states is a whole lot different than being one in Guate. My only responsibility with Eliot at this stage was Eliot. I didn't cook, clean, do laundry, attend meetings, take care of pets, volunteer, etc. I used to even spread out my grocery shopping over multiple days just so I'd have a reason to leave the house. The pressure to respond to emails from friends was pretty lenient since, ya know, I was in a foreign country and all.

Not having much of a to-do list lent itself to spending oodles of time with E. Which is huge in setting up healthy bonding. I find myself struggling to balance set-apart time with Dez and all my stuff day-to-day. Friends are more easily offended when I don't respond quickly, volunteer opportunities abound that all seem pretty important, the house and food distribution need my attention, and it just keeps going.

This time around I find myself going through spurts of locking down/staying in and then over committing myself. In the chaos that Guatemala-living lent itself to, I don't think I realized how healthy the situation actually was for Eliot and I. I honestly think our culture expects too much from moms of young kids. But on the flip side, that shouldn't be my default when trying to skirt responsibilities.

Gah. Balance and whatnot, right?

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Date 1/12

Date #1. Woot to the woot!

In case you're new or haven't been paying attention, Russ is into music. Ya know, a little bit. So it was only appropriate that I made one of our dates a night out to see live music. I didn't know anything about them, but Russ kept talking about going to see The Civil Wars. So I made it happen. AND we ran into friends, Nick and Sarah, and got to hang with them during the show. And there may or may not have been a "situation" with a girl sitting by us. Just know that if you ask me a question, I will be honest with you, even if you're really drunk and looking for a different answer.

We started with dinner at The Fountain on Locust, a local restaurant we've never had dinner at before (only dessert). We started using these silly books to see if we've paid attention to each other the last 15 years.

I'm a fan. Of my hubs. and dating him.

Can't wait to tell you about February!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Happy Gotcha Day!

As I'm putting on my "fancy clothes" as Eliot calls them, the sound of Russ' footsteps into Dez's nursery comes into our room through the monitor.

"Good morning, son"

That identity became official today.

We walked into the court room and sat in the seats provided. The lawyers and judge did their usual spiel. We answered when appropriate, we listened when appropriate.

I could feel it coming. Like a wedding day when you're waiting for those specific words that bind you forever.

Everyone had done their assigned roles. It was coming. The judge paused.

"I have one more question."

I sat up a little straighter.

"Eliot, what do you think about this?" Eliot turned around, shyly not answering the judge.

"Eliot, is Dez a good little brother?" Still nothing.

"Well, do you want to keep him?" Eliot turned quickly back around to her and said, "YES!"

"Well, in that case, this adoption is final."

It didn't take more than 20 minutes to change our lives.

Fuzzy but hilarious. (Kinda like all three boys in my house?)

"There is not a more poignant picture of the gospel than adoption. Today the court ordered that Desmond now has a new name, and the full rights of a natural born son - including our protection, provision and even an inheritance. Thank you, Jesus." --Russ's fb status.

Friday, January 13, 2012

I'm a mess.

We have a court date.

For finalization.

Next week.

Next week.

He's ours forever.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

No biggie..

For those not anxiously checking my facebook status, we're still not sure when Dez's adoption will finalize. We're literally waiting on a document to come in the mail. We have a court date for next week but will have to reschedule if the document doesn't arrive in time.

By then all the February dates may be booked.

So it may be March?

So, yeah, sometime in 2012, Desmond's adoption will be finalized.

This is a sliver in the trauma of the adoption world, so we're not too bothered by the uncertainty honestly.

Although, the last time we had an adoption get delayed the margaritas were better and I had a pretty good tan...

Thursday, January 5, 2012

A funny thing happened on the way to the Little Rock...

We realized we forgot to purchase something needed while driving to visit the fam in Little Rock. Russ mentioned stopping at the Wal-Mart in West Memphis, a somewhat mid-way stopping point.

We walk in, heading to the department of choice but Eliot and I get distracted at a bin near the front as Russ keeps walking. I'm holding Dez to give him a break from the car seat. A twenty-something african-american male walks up and says:

"Can I fill out an application?" and grins.

I think, "Does he think I work here? huh?"

I say, "I'm sorry, what?"

He looks me up and down with a little neck roll to the side, grinning, nods at Dez and says, "Can I fill out an"

I yelled, "STILL GOT IT! WOOT!" and walked away.

Not really. But I was flattered that someone on this planet thought my genes could create Dez. No wonder he wanted a piece of that...I mean...

(And if you haven't been around since 2008, you may have missed this great moment in an Arkansas gas station.)