Parenting pride, to be exact.
Baby T has behavior issues. They show themselves everywhere we go. It takes everything in me not to drop the "he's our foster kid" line to all within ear shot. I immediately hope people don't assume that this misbehavior is connected to my parenting abilities.
Ugly.
Then I think back. How often have I quickly offered, "Oh I think Eliot's teething" or "Eliot didn't have a great nap today" when E has done something wrong in public. Why do I feel the need to blame shift when my kid is just being a kid. Or, heaven forbid, I'm not a perfect parent and my kid made a bad choice because of it.
Parenting pride.
And a sidenote: If I'm not going to own up for the bad decisions he makes then I probably shouldn't take credit for all the good ones he makes, either.
I TOTALLY understand- I often wonder what people must think when we are in public.... if only they knew the whole story!
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ReplyDeleteI get what your saying, I have 2 kids of my own whom at their current ages of 11 and 8 have had to still threaten to take to the bathroom for a "conversation" to address behavior, however, STOP being so hard on yourself!! NO parent is perfect, and for that matter, NO kid is either. Which includes anyone who gives parent's dirty looks for unruly children, THEY aren't perfect either. This too shall pass, I promise. BTW, I admire you for taking the leap into fostering another person's child, and all that the child comes with. The good and the bad, the sleepless nights, and hopefully even the planting of a seed that says to that child that someone DOES care about THEM. Good luck, I'll pray for strength...
ReplyDeleteHey, I'm friends with the Whitworths and Armstrongs in Kansas City. So I'm a stranger to you, but not a total weirdo that has no connection to you. I like to read your blog because its honest and encouraging. If I'm allowed to be on your private one, I would love that. We're considering foster parenting and/or adoption and would love to hear your uninhibited feedback. We won't judge or talk ugly about your honesty.
ReplyDeleteLet me know,
Lauren Sterling
sterling_lauren@yahoo.com
You need to write a book, Katie...
ReplyDeleteI interviewed my grandmother for a grad school project and she was still second-guessing her parenting skills/ choices and her children were grandparents themselves! She ended the interview saying she had to remind herself still that she did the best she could with the knowledge she had at the time and with all the love her heart. And, eventually you have to "let go" and realize your kids are responsible for their own decisions and you're just there to try and guide them to the best choices and to love them even if they decide to act/do something that breaks your heart. Easier said than done I'm sure. But, realize you're not alone.
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