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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I've started this post over and over. Not sure how best to write about this.

The short version: this adoption is over. We're not getting the baby.

The longer version: the hiccup spun out of control within 48 hours and then it was over. It was a mutual (and amiable) decision between us and the birth mom. It happened Thursday of last week and I've been hiding out ever since.

Lots to process. Lots to grieve.

While the depth of sadness and loss is still revealing itself, God is still good and His character never changes.
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24 comments:

  1. Rebecca April 12, 2011 at 8:35 PM

    So sorry. That stinks.

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  2. ChrissyApril 12, 2011 at 8:55 PM

    Aw, crap. :( I'm sorry, Katie.

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  3. Janet Noe RhoadsApril 12, 2011 at 8:57 PM

    Katie, my heart hurts for you. I am so sorry. Keeping your family in my thoughts.

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  4. Sara D.April 12, 2011 at 9:16 PM

    Katie and Russ--I am so, so sorry. There really are no words, just a really heavy heart for both of you. Hold tight to each other and your little man--we are praying for peace, even if this is beyond what you can bear or understand at the moment.

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  5. KristiApril 12, 2011 at 9:40 PM

    Oh Katie. There are no words. My heart goes out to you guys.
    I heard this song on the radio this afternoon...hadn't heard it before and stopped to take it in. Just thought I'd share...
    http://youtu.be/1CSVqHcdhXQ

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  6. AnonymousApril 12, 2011 at 9:47 PM

    Oh Katie... Know that you guys are in the thoughts and prayers of all who love you. We weep with you.

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  7. mGkApril 12, 2011 at 9:52 PM

    Sending you love.

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  8. HeatherApril 12, 2011 at 10:26 PM

    Katie, Russ, and Eliot. I am so sorry. Thinking of you all.

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  9. GretaApril 13, 2011 at 12:00 AM

    No words, praying for you.

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  10. missyApril 13, 2011 at 4:22 AM

    Katie, Russ and Elliot,

    My heart aches for you all. Praying for peace, healing, restoration, and many blessings for your family. The Lord has your family in the palm of his hand.

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  11. Heather S.April 13, 2011 at 4:31 AM

    Oh Katie. I am so sorry. We love you guys and we are praying for you.

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  12. .Kate.April 13, 2011 at 4:35 AM

    So so sorry. Even knowing that you don't want a baby that God doesn't have for you, doesn't erase the pain and disappointment. Praying for you. I know this hurt firsthand, and it royally sucks. {{{hugs}}}

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  13. AnonymousApril 13, 2011 at 4:39 AM

    Katie, I want to throw up as I am reading this post and scream, "NO!" I want to cry with you and make it all change. Saying "I'm sorry" just doesn't seem like enough! But I am, I'm SO sorry.
    Kelli Wilmot

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  14. Jennifer BarnhartApril 13, 2011 at 4:41 AM

    There are no words..'I'm sorry' just doesn't cover it...

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  15. Becky canatseyApril 13, 2011 at 4:52 AM

    So sad mohrs. Praying you feel God walking thru this with you.

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  16. rachel blazerApril 13, 2011 at 5:11 AM

    i'm so sad that this happened... i know the baby was already your child in your heart that this is a deeply monumental loss. i'm praying now & will continue to pray for the protection of your heart as you grieve.

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  17. Nikki....Gabi's MamaApril 13, 2011 at 5:18 AM

    My heart is breaking for you guys....

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  18. JamieApril 13, 2011 at 5:23 AM

    I am so sorry. You are in my prayers.

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  19. AnonymousApril 13, 2011 at 5:24 AM

    Oh, Katie. I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say, except that we're praying for you guys.

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  20. amandaApril 13, 2011 at 5:49 AM

    There are no words. I love you friend.

    Amanda

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  21. heatherApril 13, 2011 at 6:12 AM

    So glad Russ is home now... I can't imagine the past weekend you've gotten through without your husband there in the flesh.
    I hope you realize how truly covered your little family is in prayer; your little boy, the little one that isn't after all yours, your shattered hopes, your hurting heart...
    So thankful that we have a God big enough for all of that. I know He will reveal His power big time to you all through this.

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  22. ErinApril 13, 2011 at 6:35 AM

    nothing to say except I'm praying for you.

    God knows ....

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  23. janel.April 13, 2011 at 7:07 AM

    this post hurts my heart. I am praying for all of you.
    xo

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  24. JustJessApril 13, 2011 at 8:30 AM

    I've been praying for you and the family since I heard about the hiccup. Still praying for you and for the little one. Grieving this sadness with you.

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