Did not see that coming.

While picking up E from school last week, here was our convo:

Me: Hey, guess who we're picking up from the airport tonight? (correct answer is Joy.)
E: OUR BABY!
(stop walking, take sunglasses off, deep breath)
Me: Oh, El, no. Remember we're not getting that baby.
(both of us now have instant tears)
E: Mom, when am I getting a baby? A brother or sister?
Me: I don't know, babe, but God knows we want one. I'm sorry.

There's still a lot of hard days, to be honest. We've been so busy, I've been living in my distractions. I think I'm making progress but then something like this happens.

There's not really a plan yet for moving forward. Sometimes that's good in letting us process and sometimes it's rough since it doesn't give us something to look forward to. I am enjoying every second I can with my newly 5 year old. We are enjoying being in this parenting sweet spot for a bit, knowing it won't always be this way.

Thanks for the random notes of encouragement you all keep sending! There are other reasons, too, but for this one I'm thankful I lay all our crap out for you to read. You guys are amazing and thoughtful. Thanks again!