If you saw our last 12 in 12 in '12 date, you know we are now professional rock climbers. (maybe "professional" is a bit strong) When I signed up for this back in December I asked lots of questions, wondering what we would have to do in order to climb. Would we need classes, etc. They casually mentioned "auto belaying" and said that's all we'd need, that we could indeed climb without a great deal of instruction. Because when I'm risking my life, climbing 35 feet in the air, I want the least amount of instruction possible. Straight wisdom, people.
When we arrived, the friendly worker showed us the auto belay system, explained how it worked, and set us free in less than 5 minutes. Signing the waiver actually took longer.
See the red wire in front of both of us in these pics? That's the auto-belay. At the bottom, it's attached at two places to our harness. The other end of it goes all the way to the ceiling, attached to a pulley with quite a bit of tension. So much tension that the first time I carabinered in (I just made that word up, I think! Feel free to use it) my feet lifted off the floor and I had to grab the wall.
My first attempt wasn't very successful and I immediately regretted the whole idea. I didn't know how to get back down and I had no intention of going any higher. Then I saw the lady next to me finish her climb and gracefully glide back to the ground, pushing off the wall.
I tried it since she made it look so easy. I hit the wall. Cuz I'm awesome like that.
I climbed again to the same height and tried falling again. This time smoother, sparing the wall from by body slam. I felt like I got the hang of it. (get it? My dad will be proud of that one.)
My next turn was more successful and I was able to reach the very top.
{Put that story off to the side for a minute}
{and stop checkin' out my booty}
Our church is studying James right now and the last two weeks have addressed the first section of chapter 1. The whole "consider it pure joy when you face trials" thing. The question was raised, "how do you handle trials? what's your reaction?" A few months ago our church filmed us sharing our story. In talking through what we wanted to say, I realized something.
During infertility trials, I went through a lot of anger at God. During Eliot's adoption trials, I yelled at God a lot (and other people...). When Russ and I have struggled with trials in our marriage, I question "Why God?!"
However, when the adoption fell through last spring, there was no anger at God, no questioning His ways, His plan. There was devastation and deep grieving, but nothing directed AT God.
{Aaaaaand tying them together...}
I think we've learned how to fall. We've certainly not "arrived" but looking back, I think we're getting better at it, even if we hit the wall every so often.
And the take away? Learning how to fall means climbing isn't as scary, taking risks isn't as intimidating.
I REALLY love this post. And I totally get it, too--we've learned to fall quite a bit, and for a girl that was ALWAYS so full of fear, this is a big deal.
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