Wednesday, February 1, 2012

My post on rollercoasters. (sort of?)

I have always hated riding roller coasters. We lived within driving distance of one of our nations greatest parks, Cedar Point, and frequented it for family vacations. I would fill my time there on spinny rides only and was content to wait on the bench next to each roller coaster's exit while my friends and family enjoyed the thrill without me.

While Russ and I were dating, I surprised him once with tickets to Six Flags. It seemed like a "What a cool girlfriend!" thing to do but when we got there and Russ became aware of my limitations, he was a little confused. (I distracted him with a make-out session on the ferris wheel. My wisdom knows no bounds, no it does not.)

Once in awhile I actually get talked into riding a medium-sized coaster. We stand outside the entrance talking about it. I ask 9 million questions about how fast, how tall, how long that hang time at the top of the hill is, etc. Then we get in line. I make it a point to waver on the decision the entire maze, asking unending questions of my companion, keeping my eye on the exit.

Switching gears (stay with me): over the last few years more of those in our closer circles have brought up adoption. This in itself is not new, but the questions are different. Less "Good for you guys!" and more, "What about me/us?" Part of it is stage of life for a lot of our friends. Part of it is being exposed to the possibilities over and over. Part of it is because (thankfully?) it's become trendy in Christian culture to add some flavor to your family pictures, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Russ and I find ourselves in conversations where people are sort of processing out loud the decision they already made but haven't realized yet. Like me when standing in line for a ride. I'm kind of loving watching people, who are in fact called to adopt, figure it out. Can't wait to see how all these stories play out...

1 comment:

Jamie said...


I just love reading your blog. You have such a beautiful family. Your marriage appears to be so special. You are a blessing to me and I'm sure to so many people.

My husband and I recently were chosen by a birth mom. She wanted an open adoption. Her son was BEAUTIFUL! This would have been our 5th son. I really struggled with the openness of the adoption. I felt like you do waiting in the rollercoaster line. I wondered if I would be able to love him the same as my 4 bio sons or if I would actually love him more because he was adopted. Open adoption felt like glorified foster care to me. I just did not have a peace about it. I'm embaressed to admit my feelings here. It brings me to tears just to think about it. He looked much like your newest son. So precious. I had such extreme anxiety and no peace in my heart. I lost 10 pounds and could not sleep. Long story short, we decided to put our adoption plans on hold. My heart still breaks for what could have been. He ended up being adopted by close friends of the birth family and they get to be a part of his life. God worked everything out but my heart still aches. I really struggled with it. Now I am wrestling with if we are "called to adopt" or if I just want another baby. I still have a desire to adopt. Maybe open adoption is just not for me. I would love to talk to you sometime. I am no longer on facebook. Will you e-mail me?

Thanks for listening.