We were trained. We heard stories. We prepared a room and gathered supplies.
From the moment we got the call to 48 hours later, I felt like the wind got knocked out of me. This has turned our world upside down. On so many levels.
We're 5 days in to our first fostering experience now. The outcome is far from being determined. Progress has been made with Baby T, but there's still a road ahead of us.
The last few days has revealed a lot to me about me. About Russ and E-man. About our friends and support network. I've discovered I'm weaker than I thought, more prideful, lazier and more selfish. I've discovered even more so what incredible hearts Russ and Eliot have. I've discovered how quickly I've become protective over a child I've barely met. I've discovered how very unorganized we are and that "baby-proofing" a house means very different things with different babies. I've discovered how very little I know about parenting and yet how well the trainings prepared us. I've discovered how unwavering the support network is for foster parents, how amazing this community is. It's taken me a few days but I've discovered that my world getting turned upside down is nothing in comparison to the tornado of confusion and fear Baby T must feel.
I want to be honest about this for a couple reasons. I want to remember this first run. I want other new foster parents to know that we certainly didn't/don't have it all together and that if they get overwhelmed, that's okay. I read several other fostering blogs and most of them have been around the bend a few times. I expected to react like they seem to from the get-go. But I just didn't.
All that to say, we're rallying. Russ and Eliot started rallying .4 seconds into the process it seems, but it took me a little longer. And that's okay. Baby T and I are taking 2 steps forward with plans to take more.