Monday, November 26, 2012
Sunday, November 18, 2012
FYI
Thanks to the amount of time I spend blocking "anonymous" comments (Spam) from the blog, I changed the settings on here to no longer allow anonymous. Sorry for the inconvenience...
--Management
And also, please look at this pic my friend Amy found on Pinterest.
Holy Desmond Look-alike! It's no wonder even is his shirt that reads "Ladies Man" he still gets mistaken for a girl.
--Management
And also, please look at this pic my friend Amy found on Pinterest.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Taking the creepy out of Elf on the Shelf.
If you don't have young kids you may have avoided this new trend.
We, however, are in the thick of it.
Elf on the Shelf.
A couple years ago they came out with a light brown-skinned elf and I bought it on impulse. (Moms of brown children are sometimes suckers for anything resembling their children since it's harder to find than you'd think...)I didn't think through the fact that the child we bought it for has minor anxiety.
We started reading the story to him and realized quickly that:
A. He was getting really freaked out.
B. This was turning into a behavior modification thing and I didn't love that.
Thankfully this was before he could read so I made up the rest of the story and took the book away. So, here's how we combat A and B and why.
A. Eliot's imagination creeps him out sometimes. He loves Toy Story but can't separate the reality from fiction and sometimes gets nervous having toys in his room any bigger than an action figure. Creating a story about an elf who is ALIVE and WATCHING HIS EVERY MOVE (but acting as a statue) just confirmed his irrational fears. So, we remind him almost daily that he's not real and it's just a game of hide and seek. Also, the elf is not allowed in Eliot's room. Ever.
B1. As a former teacher I tend to shy away from temporary quick fixes with behavior*. I don't love manipulating children to behave for the month of December because I don't want to have to come up with another thing to force them to behave in January.
B2: Also, we want Eliot to know that Christmas isn't about him. He can't earn or un-earn (it's a word, I promise) the celebration of Jesus' birth. It happened. We give gifts as an outpouring of our thankfulness. We want Eliot to know he gets presents and celebrates Christmas because he's loved. Plain and simple. He doesn't earn his gifts, he gets them because he's a part of our family. If his behavior during December warrants major action, there's other consequences in place to address those that have nothing to do with the date on the calendar.
We still add Okra (our Elf...full name Okra Homa) to our festivities because Eliot loves the excitement of finding him each morning. (sidenote: I set an alarm on my phone that rings at 9 each night to remind me to move him. Also, Pinterest has tons of creative ideas of places/ways to hide him. Use your resources, people.)
*I'm not above bribery in certain instances. You should have seen the promises made before and during our last photo shoot...
I'm not trying to knock Elf on the Shelf or it's originators or those of you to implement it as is. As it's presented, though, it just doesn't work for our family. We still love it, just an amended version of it.
We, however, are in the thick of it.
Elf on the Shelf.
We started reading the story to him and realized quickly that:
A. He was getting really freaked out.
B. This was turning into a behavior modification thing and I didn't love that.
Thankfully this was before he could read so I made up the rest of the story and took the book away. So, here's how we combat A and B and why.
A. Eliot's imagination creeps him out sometimes. He loves Toy Story but can't separate the reality from fiction and sometimes gets nervous having toys in his room any bigger than an action figure. Creating a story about an elf who is ALIVE and WATCHING HIS EVERY MOVE (but acting as a statue) just confirmed his irrational fears. So, we remind him almost daily that he's not real and it's just a game of hide and seek. Also, the elf is not allowed in Eliot's room. Ever.
B1. As a former teacher I tend to shy away from temporary quick fixes with behavior*. I don't love manipulating children to behave for the month of December because I don't want to have to come up with another thing to force them to behave in January.
B2: Also, we want Eliot to know that Christmas isn't about him. He can't earn or un-earn (it's a word, I promise) the celebration of Jesus' birth. It happened. We give gifts as an outpouring of our thankfulness. We want Eliot to know he gets presents and celebrates Christmas because he's loved. Plain and simple. He doesn't earn his gifts, he gets them because he's a part of our family. If his behavior during December warrants major action, there's other consequences in place to address those that have nothing to do with the date on the calendar.
We still add Okra (our Elf...full name Okra Homa) to our festivities because Eliot loves the excitement of finding him each morning. (sidenote: I set an alarm on my phone that rings at 9 each night to remind me to move him. Also, Pinterest has tons of creative ideas of places/ways to hide him. Use your resources, people.)
*I'm not above bribery in certain instances. You should have seen the promises made before and during our last photo shoot...
I'm not trying to knock Elf on the Shelf or it's originators or those of you to implement it as is. As it's presented, though, it just doesn't work for our family. We still love it, just an amended version of it.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
The chopping block.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Blogcation.
If I blogged every day, a constant stream of pictures of my beautiful boys doing creative things as a family or on hard hitting topics of which I am well-learned, you'd feel bad about yourself eventually. Constantly asking yourself how I have it all together.
So, my blogcation is a necessity for your self esteem.
That and I have a very.busy.toddler.
And lest you think said toddler is ALWAYS HAPPY, I present to you...
So, my blogcation is a necessity for your self esteem.
That and I have a very.busy.toddler.
And lest you think said toddler is ALWAYS HAPPY, I present to you...
Monday, November 5, 2012
Orphan Sunday
Yesterday was the official "Orphan Sunday" and many of you who attend church saw videos like the one above or (hopefully) listened to a sermon/message on the topic.
Just wanted to extend myself on this as well. My email is katie l mohr at g mail. Thinking about it? Wondering how you can help? Want to contribute in a small way or finally ready to jump in with both feet, I'm happy to talk.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
NYC '12!
(Yes, this happened in July, so what? Judgey McJudger.)
Russ' happy place? The gyro food trucks.
My happy place, Brooklyn Bagel. I spend more time here than anywhere else in the city.
Same brick wall, different day. Weird? (@Brooklyn Bagel, um, again.)
It turned into a cousin party on Sunday of our trip. Russ' other cousin Jess lives up in the northeast for the summer so she and her hubs joined us as we headed to Coney Island for the afternoon.
Russ, Jess, Kendall and I rode the Wonder Wheel on Coney Island. Duh.
Had to drop Jess and Kendall at Grand Central so made it priority to find the whispering corners archway. It was super cool. I highly recommend it, then you could be as cool as us.
Monday Russ had meetings during most of the day and evening so Joy and I walked around the city (including the Highline) and ended up at The Frying Pan and Maritime 66 for lunch. It was an absolutely gorgeous day and we had much to catch up on without Russ as our third wheel (just kidding? honey? I love you?) so we stayed there until dinner. Russ eventually met us there and we stayed til sundown.
(It was a plaid skinnies kind of day...)
Joy took me to her fav French bakery. Cuz she loves me, duh.
We had such an amazing trip. I truly love that city. Not sure if it's because of my time with Joy each time I go or if I just really love that city. We'll say both. It really is a win/win.
(It was a plaid skinnies kind of day...)
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
The Seven Habits of Highly Infertile People
I've spent a lot of time in waiting rooms. Not real ones with magazines and the standard greenish-blue carpet and matching chairs. Not the one with the mall or Jimmy Johns on the other side of the glass.
I've spent my time in the proverbial ones. Ones with a calendar or clock constantly in your face. One with timelines that never get respected. One with my future on the other side of the glass.
As I mentioned a few posts ago, my inbox is increasing with questions about infertility. One of the main questions is "how did you get through the wait month to month?"
Having paid my dues in both the fertility and adoption waiting rooms, there's some differences. This post is focusing on the waiting room with fallopian tube posters on the wall. I also pulled up a panel of attractive other ladies who've sat in this same place and the patterns were pretty evident. That leads me to numero uno:
1. Have people on your team. Besides your hubs. There's a gazillion online communities you can join for support. Find at least one friend who's either going through it at the same time or has gone through it. God was gracious enough to give me Lisa. We even went to the same doctor. She was honest and vulnerable with me and I with her. We also found mutual hobbies to distract us. Which leads me to...
2. Get a life. Fertility stuff can be so absolutely consuming, you have to have something to distract you. As Lisa says, "I am not my uterus." Lisa and I took up running, even trained for a half marathon. Which was a total win/win since we were distracting ourselves as well as gettingsupa hot healthy. For me, distraction was key. Unlike adoption, there's a limited number of days you have to be distracted until you know the conclusion. Find an addictive tv show (Friday Night Lights, LOST, One Tree Hill, whatevs.) Read silly memoirs or great fiction. Start a new workout program. Lisa took classes toward her masters. Clean out your basement. Take up photography. Get involved volunteering somewhere. Something, anything that has NOTHING to do with children/pregnancy/parenting. What is that hobby you always wanted to try? Go start it.
3. Hide. The general rule for anyone going through infertility treatments is that YOU WILL BE SURROUNDED by the most fertile people ever. It will be a constant stream of "I can't believe I'm pregnant AGAIN! We weren't even trying!" and "Don't drink the water at that church!" And honestly, people don't mean to punch you in the ovaries with their lack of understanding. But all of that means a constant stream of baby showers. Buying cute little soft things for friends can accentuate the lack of it in your world. My advice? Hide when you need to. Pull back and recluse when it's just simply too much to handle. Don't stay there though, you need community but IT IS OKAY TO SKIP STUFF. I didn't do this enough. I was too worried about hurting people's feelings and wasn't protecting my own.
4. Date your husband. Fertility is so hard. It can either strengthen your marriage or it can drain it. Sometimes both. Make sure that you're not only creating hobbies for yourself but that you and the hubs have things going on TOGETHER that have nothing to do with hormone levels and sperm counts. And speaking of? Make sure you're having sex just for fun and not just during "the homework" 3 days. For reals.
**Knowing this a monthly roller coaster and you're getting pumped with horomones, some months or days you want to do the opposite, to lean into it. In that case:
5. Journal. For obvious reasons, it's just a great outlet.
6. Meet with mentors. Especially if you don't know anyone currently going through it, find someone who has experience that can meet when you need/want to talk to someone other than your hubs.
7. Be honest. First of all, with God. If you're angry or confused, He can handle it. He's not so happy about infertility either. Question Him, His sovereignty, His goodness. Push back on His promises. They will prove themselves.
Secondly, be honest with family and close friends. You need people in your court. You need community. I'm not saying you should post details of your treatments as your facebook status (PLEASE DON'T) but we've always been blessed, not burdened, by people knowing our story. Be honest with them about how to love you, which sometimes means leaving you alone and other times means girls night. I'm reminded of this scene:
You need friends, fertile or infertile, that won't run from your honesty.
Thirdly, be honest with yourself. If you're angry, be angry. If you're pretending you have control and have mental timelines, quit it. If you're putting on a happy face but dying inside, stop it. If you want to cry, do it. If you want to take a month off because your body is all jacked up on hormones and your emotions are out of whack, do it. You're not going to miss THE ONE MONTH GOD WAS GOING TO BLESS YOU because you needed a break. I'm pretty sure God doesn't work like that.
No matter if you've been TTC for 3 months or 5 years, it sucks. It is a hard road unlike many others. Please feel comfortable emailing me with questions or just to vent.
I've spent my time in the proverbial ones. Ones with a calendar or clock constantly in your face. One with timelines that never get respected. One with my future on the other side of the glass.
As I mentioned a few posts ago, my inbox is increasing with questions about infertility. One of the main questions is "how did you get through the wait month to month?"
Having paid my dues in both the fertility and adoption waiting rooms, there's some differences. This post is focusing on the waiting room with fallopian tube posters on the wall. I also pulled up a panel of attractive other ladies who've sat in this same place and the patterns were pretty evident. That leads me to numero uno:
1. Have people on your team. Besides your hubs. There's a gazillion online communities you can join for support. Find at least one friend who's either going through it at the same time or has gone through it. God was gracious enough to give me Lisa. We even went to the same doctor. She was honest and vulnerable with me and I with her. We also found mutual hobbies to distract us. Which leads me to...
2. Get a life. Fertility stuff can be so absolutely consuming, you have to have something to distract you. As Lisa says, "I am not my uterus." Lisa and I took up running, even trained for a half marathon. Which was a total win/win since we were distracting ourselves as well as getting
3. Hide. The general rule for anyone going through infertility treatments is that YOU WILL BE SURROUNDED by the most fertile people ever. It will be a constant stream of "I can't believe I'm pregnant AGAIN! We weren't even trying!" and "Don't drink the water at that church!" And honestly, people don't mean to punch you in the ovaries with their lack of understanding. But all of that means a constant stream of baby showers. Buying cute little soft things for friends can accentuate the lack of it in your world. My advice? Hide when you need to. Pull back and recluse when it's just simply too much to handle. Don't stay there though, you need community but IT IS OKAY TO SKIP STUFF. I didn't do this enough. I was too worried about hurting people's feelings and wasn't protecting my own.
4. Date your husband. Fertility is so hard. It can either strengthen your marriage or it can drain it. Sometimes both. Make sure that you're not only creating hobbies for yourself but that you and the hubs have things going on TOGETHER that have nothing to do with hormone levels and sperm counts. And speaking of? Make sure you're having sex just for fun and not just during "the homework" 3 days. For reals.
**Knowing this a monthly roller coaster and you're getting pumped with horomones, some months or days you want to do the opposite, to lean into it. In that case:
5. Journal. For obvious reasons, it's just a great outlet.
6. Meet with mentors. Especially if you don't know anyone currently going through it, find someone who has experience that can meet when you need/want to talk to someone other than your hubs.
7. Be honest. First of all, with God. If you're angry or confused, He can handle it. He's not so happy about infertility either. Question Him, His sovereignty, His goodness. Push back on His promises. They will prove themselves.
Secondly, be honest with family and close friends. You need people in your court. You need community. I'm not saying you should post details of your treatments as your facebook status (PLEASE DON'T) but we've always been blessed, not burdened, by people knowing our story. Be honest with them about how to love you, which sometimes means leaving you alone and other times means girls night. I'm reminded of this scene:
You need friends, fertile or infertile, that won't run from your honesty.
Thirdly, be honest with yourself. If you're angry, be angry. If you're pretending you have control and have mental timelines, quit it. If you're putting on a happy face but dying inside, stop it. If you want to cry, do it. If you want to take a month off because your body is all jacked up on hormones and your emotions are out of whack, do it. You're not going to miss THE ONE MONTH GOD WAS GOING TO BLESS YOU because you needed a break. I'm pretty sure God doesn't work like that.
No matter if you've been TTC for 3 months or 5 years, it sucks. It is a hard road unlike many others. Please feel comfortable emailing me with questions or just to vent.
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