Yes, I have decided that I'm a queen. Next time you see me I might even be wearing a tiara of some sort. The queen of what, you might be asking. The Queen of Double Messages, as Debbie (our marriage camp teacher) would put it.
In our weekly Marriage Boot Camp sessions, Debbie has brought up how we women put out double messages to our husbands. These mixed messages make it difficult for our marriage because it creates impossible expectations. For example: In my mindset, I feel strongly that Russ should not be gone so much. I also feel that we need more money, so he should be gone more to make some. I want him to notice how beautiful I am more often but not be so focused on the physical. I want one thing and its opposite all at the same time. (If Russ ever looks tired to you, this might be why...)
This isn't just with Russ. It's with everything. I want Eliot to grow up faster so we can play candyland and soccer but he really needs to quit growing so fast. I want it to be sunny and warm but cool enough to wear a hoodie and hat and scarf. I want my friends to send me emails and call but I really don't want to answer my phone or hit reply on an email. I want to live in the city and the suburbs. I want to be financially free but want to still depend on God for my every need. I want to lose a few pounds and still drink coke and eat cookies every day. I want to invite my neighbor over for dinner and I want him to move away.
Contentment. Balance. Moderation. Anyone else craving it?