Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I've started this post over and over. Not sure how best to write about this.

The short version: this adoption is over. We're not getting the baby.

The longer version: the hiccup spun out of control within 48 hours and then it was over. It was a mutual (and amiable) decision between us and the birth mom. It happened Thursday of last week and I've been hiding out ever since.

Lots to process. Lots to grieve.

While the depth of sadness and loss is still revealing itself, God is still good and His character never changes.

24 comments:

Becca said...

So sorry. That stinks.

Chrissy said...

Aw, crap. :( I'm sorry, Katie.

Janet said...

Katie, my heart hurts for you. I am so sorry. Keeping your family in my thoughts.

Sara D. said...

Katie and Russ--I am so, so sorry. There really are no words, just a really heavy heart for both of you. Hold tight to each other and your little man--we are praying for peace, even if this is beyond what you can bear or understand at the moment.

Kristi said...

Oh Katie. There are no words. My heart goes out to you guys.
I heard this song on the radio this afternoon...hadn't heard it before and stopped to take it in. Just thought I'd share...
http://youtu.be/1CSVqHcdhXQ

CPass said...

Oh Katie... Know that you guys are in the thoughts and prayers of all who love you. We weep with you.

mGk said...

Sending you love.

Heather said...

Katie, Russ, and Eliot. I am so sorry. Thinking of you all.

Greta said...

No words, praying for you.

missy said...

Katie, Russ and Elliot,

My heart aches for you all. Praying for peace, healing, restoration, and many blessings for your family. The Lord has your family in the palm of his hand.

Heather S. said...

Oh Katie. I am so sorry. We love you guys and we are praying for you.

.Kate. said...

So so sorry. Even knowing that you don't want a baby that God doesn't have for you, doesn't erase the pain and disappointment. Praying for you. I know this hurt firsthand, and it royally sucks. {{{hugs}}}

Anonymous said...

Katie, I want to throw up as I am reading this post and scream, "NO!" I want to cry with you and make it all change. Saying "I'm sorry" just doesn't seem like enough! But I am, I'm SO sorry.
Kelli Wilmot

Jennifer Barnhart said...

There are no words..'I'm sorry' just doesn't cover it...

Becky canatsey said...

So sad mohrs. Praying you feel God walking thru this with you.

rachel @ perfectly imperfect said...

i'm so sad that this happened... i know the baby was already your child in your heart that this is a deeply monumental loss. i'm praying now & will continue to pray for the protection of your heart as you grieve.

Nikki....Gabi's Mama said...

My heart is breaking for you guys....

Jamie said...

I am so sorry. You are in my prayers.

heresthediehl said...

Oh, Katie. I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say, except that we're praying for you guys.

amanda said...

There are no words. I love you friend.

Amanda

heather said...

So glad Russ is home now... I can't imagine the past weekend you've gotten through without your husband there in the flesh.
I hope you realize how truly covered your little family is in prayer; your little boy, the little one that isn't after all yours, your shattered hopes, your hurting heart...
So thankful that we have a God big enough for all of that. I know He will reveal His power big time to you all through this.

Erin said...

nothing to say except I'm praying for you.

God knows ....

janel. said...

this post hurts my heart. I am praying for all of you.
xo

JustJess said...

I've been praying for you and the family since I heard about the hiccup. Still praying for you and for the little one. Grieving this sadness with you.