Birthdays are good for the sole.

Remember Eliot's birthday last year? Super fun party and all his friends brought Hot Wheels cars that he was able to take to Guatemala and pass out to children?


It was impactful enough that he still talks about it. More in a processing sense than anything. Still trying to wrap his mind around kids his age that don't have thousands of toys to fight over with their brother.

This year he's not having a party (we rotate every other year for the big parties) so don't be sad when you don't get an invite. BUT he still wants to collect stuff to take (after a little nudging, lets be honest). His other love language? Shoes.

Starting soon, we're collecting kids shoes. Practical and sturdy, not cheap flip flops, etc. Shoes that were made to last. Kids sizes. New or gently used.

Deadline is May 10.

Giving good gifts.

"Why is there a dog in our backyard?"

Eliot looked at the dog, at me, at Russ, back at the dog. Maybe the huge foolish grins on our faces started his mental processing of what just happened. Maybe it was my unintelligible squeak saying "It's OUR dog!"

*****************
Because we know good people, we have several friends who foster dogs. Every time they posted pics of their latest foster over the last six months, Russ and I would have "the chat." Eliot has been asking for a dog for the last two years. We've read articles on how they promote healthy brain activity and teach basic life responsibility in children. (and by "we've read" I mean I post these articles generously to Russ' inbox…) Every time a pic would pop up on my newsfeed, I'd screenshot it with some emotional plea and text it to him. He was all...

I could see that over months of this I was wearing him down. Every once in awhile he'd nibble. He'd ask a noncommittal question. I'd scurry to find out the answer. Then he'd say no. I'd casually mention that Dez and I went through the Humane Society after pre-school. He's say "Fun!" and change the topic. You may hear a "no" in that but me? Those were gateway to a "yes." Not to mention Eliot's sincere plea. Without knowing it, he was working Russ. Sharing memories, unprompted, of times he had with Daisy, talking about how Daisy was his best friend, etc. We could see there was a legitimate void in his life.

Right around the start of November I could see Russ was on board. So much so that we were both checking almost daily to stray rescue sites and other dog shelters websites. We'd see a potential dog and both agree it wasn't the right one. I emailed back and forth with my fostering friends and before we could make a decision, their foster dog would be adopted by someone else. Then one day in early December a friend posted a link on her FB newsfeed of a neighbor who needed to find a new home for a couple of her pets. I texted Russ, "I found our dog." He had meetings all day so I didn't exactly get the reaction I was hoping for. Without his consent I called the owner and set up a meet-n-greet for Russ' day off. Sometimes ya just know.

We met her. And she was perfect. Any doubt we had about taking on the extra responsibility was gone. She was perfect. The timing was perfect. It was just weeks before Christmas.

We set up the date for the drop off at just a few days later. For days we knew what was coming. We snuck out to a pet store to stock up on stuff but got distracted by the cool dog toys. "Eliot would pick this one!" "Wait, he'd love this one!" We were giddy.

For the next few days it took everything in me not to tell him what was about to happen. He was mad about having to do homework, he was frustrated with his brother for ruining something of his, he didn't feel good one day, etc. I'd just hug him hard as my non-verbal way of saying, "BUT YOU'RE GETTING A DOG! THE PERFECT DOG!" With every down he felt, my smile got bigger. He must have been a little confused.

The drop off was set up for Friday afternoon so that when he came home from school, she'd be here. I was busting at the seams as I drove him to school. HE WAS FINALLY GETTING A DOG! Who cares about practicing your spelling words for the test that morning, you're getting a dog! THIS AFTERNOON! AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

We came up with an elaborate scavenger hunt with clues and gifts, starting with a clue wrapped and under the tree. Russ hid the dog outside while I picked E up from school.

"Hi El, how was school?"

"Eh."

"Well, what do you think of getting an early Christmas present?"

"Really?"

He took a sweet forever taking off his coat and putting his backpack up. And then asked for a snack. And that's when I riggled and jiggled in impatience and yelled, "OPEN YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENT!"

He S.L.O.W.L.Y. went through each clue, annoyed that we'd try to answer it for him, just to move on. FINALLY the clues led him outside and to the back yard.

"Why is there a dog in our backyard?"

Our clues were obviously not very obvious.

Eliot spent that entire weekend obsessing over our new dog. We've had her for three months now and at least every other day he's says, "Can you believe we have a dog? Marzipan, can you believe you're our dog? Mom, can you believe how perfect Marzi is?" She's the first thing he looks for every morning. He tells her how beautiful she is when she walks by him. He truly loves loves loves this dog.

Being on this side of good gift giving feels like nothing else.

I imagine this is how God felt right before we opened the email with Eliot's referral picture. How did he feel as he watched us pick up the phone to hear, "Katie, check your email, I sent you and Russ a referral. I think this is the one." I've never thought about God feeling giddy but I can't imagine him feeling otherwise the morning we left to go strawberry picking and ended up getting the Dez "phone call" on our way there. He knew what our family would look like and what amazing gifts our children are. That's not to oversimplify the complexities of adoption, but God knew and I really believe he was pretty excited for us to finally meet these two turkeys.

Welcome to our frat house.

****Not sure why this posted again!


My posts have felt a little somber lately. The last few posts have been soap-boxy bulletin boards. Time for a quick scrapbook moment for my boys. Ya know, in case Facebook implodes one day and I lose all my documentation of their childhood. I should warn you, I'm a serial facebooker. And Instagrammer. But I'm most embarrassed to say my last kid-themed-status-update-update was July of '12. I'm not going to copy the last year and a half's here but I'll at least give ya the last few months...

****EDITED TO ADD**** I started with just the last couple months but was having so much fun revisiting our crazy that I kept going. Whatever. It's my party and I'll blog if I want to, blog if I want to, blog if I want to. This post is more for Dez and Eliot to revisit in 20 years. All that to say, it's long but if you're bored, have at it.

A few posts:
JULY-DECEMBER '12

*E: Mom, I want strong muscles like Michael Phelps, do you?
Me: Yep, that's why I was exercising yesterday.
E: Uh, mom,...it didn't work.

*Every time we get in the car Eliot yells, "My biscuits are burnin'!"

*Nothing says " road trip with a six yr old" like Hey Mom, I bet I can count to 10, 000! 1, 2, 3...

*Russ to E, getting in the car with half an ice cream cone: Eliot, are you really going to finish all of that?
Eliot: Dude, I'm gonna kill it.

*Me: El, for snack do you want a banana?
El: Sure, what kind do you have?

*It might just be easier to put all the kitchen cabinet contents into Dez's toy baskets and his toys into the cabinets.

*Dear teachers, if Eliot's "how I spent my summer vacation" essay includes watching YouTube videos on "how to cornrow" that *might* be my fault.

*Me: Eliot, you need to *blah blah blah*
Eliot: Whatever you say, Mom
Me: Um..what?
Eliot: Whatever you say...is awesome?

*Something I never imagined saying as a parent: "Stop running hot wheels through your brother's fro."

*I know I shouldn't refer to my child as my antagonist but what else do you call someone who constantly follows you around undoing what you just did. And don't say "a toddler" because then I'm forced to reply, "touche!" and I hate saying that.

*"Mom, booty is a noun" #firstgradeFTW

*That moment when you mistakingly reprimand your son for calling you a "cougar" when he actually called you a "cool girl".

*That moment when you find yourself cleaning up diarrhea from two children while listening to The Chipmunks sing Christmas songs in Spanish. Yeah, that moment.

*Every time we ask Eliot to do something he says, "No comprendo." Well played, Guatemalan, well played.

*Something I didn't anticipate with the multi- age classroom: Eliot's sudden interest in third grade girls.

*20 (ish) teeth by 2 years old? It's going to be a long 6 months...#only4teethat18months

*While letting a-very-excited-to-vote Eliot push the buttons on electronic ballot, the next guy in line interrupted us:
Guy: excuse me, mam, can you stop letting your child help you? I'm in a hurry.
Me: I'm sorry sir, what's the problem?
Guy: I'm in a hurry and you're taking too long in letting your kid help you.
Me: Sir, that's not my problem. If you aren't happy with the way I'm voting, there's other booths. This moment is important for my son and frankly, what's taking so long is this conversation.

*Dez trying to throw a fit while also having the hiccups might be the best thing about my day.

*Dez just did something he knew was wrong and immediately put his hand out for Eliot to give him a high five. Help.

*Well, it only took 18 months but the fro got caught in the nose ring. #occupationalhazard

*Eliot asked to go to Thousand Island tonight. It's worth looking into... #mayansknowaboutstuff

*Dear Leapfrog, you know you've done your job well when I ask my 18 month old what a frog says and he responds by trying to sing the ABCs.

*2 Eliot stories for you:
1. "Mom, I had a dream that I played drums that were ON FIRE! But no worries, I was so safe."
2. (Guy on the radio): "he got the punch line wrong."
Eliot: HE JUST SAID TO PUNCH MY MOM!

*Eliot mentioned we only have a half day today. I'm assuming he means at school but consider this your warning if he meant otherwise. #apocalypse

*Free PSA for you and yours this holiday season: if your "Elf" dyed both gallons of milk with food coloring days ago, your toddler's diaper deposits *might* be color themed until previously mentioned milk runs out. No need to call the pediatrician.

*I guess day 4 of the same outfit confirms Eliot likes his new clothes we gave him for Christmas.

*Additional note to self: Desmond's hair should be kept far away from large Velcro strips. #thathurt

JANUARY:
*While in the car:
Eliot: Mom! That house has a bright red light in front!
Me: Mmm, yes, it sure does.
Eliot: We should get a bright red light for our house!
Me: Um...no, we probably won't do that.
Eliot: How come?
Me: Um...it's just a little confusing for people...

FEBRUARY
*My kids have no sledding endurance. #parentfail #globalwarmingfail

*Dez has a bug of some sort and has now started saying "boo boo" whenever he chucks. It's endearing, really.

*Days spent along side a toddler with a stomach bug are like living with a mobile land mine. A land mine who wants to cuddle.

*E just told me you have to lose a tooth before you can go to second grade. Man, the standards are rough these days.

*At 21 months Dez just cut his 4th "one-year molar". That means he should cut his "two-year molars" by the time he's in preschool? Egad.

*Eliot quote of the morning: (walking into the dining room where we're enjoying breakfast) "which one of you slobs is going to get dressed and take me to school?"

*You know your new experiment with the pancakes was successful when Dez insists on calling them "Good Guys" as he devours his fourth...#secretingredient

*Remember that time Dez was sitting on the sled at the top of the stairs? -- Russ Mohr #heartattack

MARCH
*The swim coach asked all the boys where their favorite place to vacation spot was. One kid said Lake of the Ozarks. Eliot answered "Guatemala." #thatsnormal?

*Eliot just prayed that Jesus would turn his skin black like Dez. When I asked why he said, "I'll bet Dez will be better than me at camouflaging himself in dark places." #ninjas

*Dez: *whine whine*
Me: What, Dez? I can't understand you, use your words, please.
Eliot stands, put hands on hips: REVEAL THE TRUTH, DEZ!

*When I opened the door to Desmond's room this morning he stood, started clapping and yelled "YAY MOM!!!" It's nice feeling like I accomplished something already today.

*E: Mom, can you get the thermometer down for me?
M: Why do you need the thermometer?
E: I want to stick it up my nose and see what temperature my boogers are.

*With the right hair product and some pipe cleaners I could easily make Dez into an Easter bunny... #toofar?

APRIL
*It's decided. Dez has agreed to turn 3 on his next birthday and skip this whole 2 business.

*When a 9 year old female dinner guest asked what our rules for meal time were, Eliot responded, "You can't say 'penis' at the dinner table."
#houseofboys #awkwardsilence

*Me: Eliot, your t-ball practice was cancelled because of all the rain!
Eliot: You just don't want me to be happy, do you?
#thankyoupigeonbooks

*In other news, I *may* have just yelled, "2Pac IS real music!" at my 6 year old.

*Apparently during an intense game of rock, paper, scissors at school today Eliot played "heart." No one knew what to do. Well played, Eliot, well played. #lovewins #arguewithit

*Out of nowhere at dinner tonight Eliot said, "If a lightening bolt comes down and strikes me in the heart it won't matter because the Holy Spirit will BLAST it away. ...And also? I just held my breath for forty minutes. " ?????

MAY
*Eliot's making farting noises and singing "Desmond did it" to the tune of Adele's "Rumor has it." #frathouse

*It's worth noting that Dez uses the same word for Jesus as he does for Cheez-its. #cheezitsarehisidol

*"Boys! We do not run over bananas with bicycles inside the house!" #frathouse

*So far this morning I've overheard Eliot in the other room trying to teach Dez how to say "Happy Mother's Day" and then he asked if we could look at pictures of when he was adopted. It's almost enough to forgive him for waking me up an hour early...

*Awwww! I remember reading birthday texts on my mom's phone when I turned seven! Oh wait...

*No matter how much work, time and stress it takes to plan, time away from home and real life, it will ALWAYS BE WORTH IT to see Eliot fall in love with his birth country a little bit more each year.

*Hey Russ, remember that time we took the kids to the circus and the tornado sirens kept going off? #hysteria #somanykidscrying #adultsoverreacting That was a great Gotcha Day.

JUNE
*Eliot asked to hear the beginning of his adoption story again this morning (his referral and meeting us the first time). Mid way through the story he says, "Aw man! I wish you guys would've named me Michael Jackson instead of Eliot." #hindsight #parentfail?

*Dear Desmond, in 15 years when you're on some sort of singing competition show and they ask you when you started singing you can answer with, "my mom said that from at least 18 months old I was singing all the time. I would even match tones that I heard including the garbage disposal, tornado sirens, and car horns."

*Eliot: "DEZ! Rule #1 in this house is we DO NOT eat someone else's Cheez-its!" #tough #itis? #seemslegit #frathouse

JULY:
*Dez seems extra squishy on rainy days.

*Instead of praying over our meal, Eliot asked God for girlfriends for himself and Dez. About five minutes later he interrupted a conversation Russ and I were having by saying, "So...lets talk about body hair." #vacationsover

*Whispering from the other room: "Dez, when people ask who your best friend is, you say 'Eliot.'"

Aaaaaaand to balance it out...

"Mom! I taught Dez a new game! It's called Fetch!"

*Gathering our camping gear Eliot picks something up and says, "Is this for making smoothies?"
Me: "No, that's a lantern." #cementbabies #parentfail

*"Mom, how do you say 'privates' in Spanish?" #frathouse #mycommitmenttoyourbilingualnessonlygoessofar

AUGUST
*"Mom! I almost did it!"

"Almost did what?"

"I was almost able to say 'mom' while burping! I was so close!"

#frathouse #everydayeliot

*Dear Dez,
If you're going to try and sneak around out of your bed during naptime, might I suggest playing with something other than a tambourine.

Love, Mom

*In a conversation about having to get new tires for my car:
E: Aw, Mom, I thought you were getting rims, too.
Me: oh! Rims! Right, um...I didn't even think of it!
E: Well, you should put rims on your Christmas list.

*If you missed it, it was Friendly Elderly Lady day at Schnucks. Including one of them chasing me down an aisle, asking her friend on the other end of the phone to wait so she could tell me that my children were the most beautiful she'd ever seen, including her grandchildren. And she has a lot of grandchildren. So if I ever meet them, keep this conversation to myself.

*Dez sure knows how to clear a pool... #grabthebiohazardbag #dailydez #sorryaboutthat

*Making Eliot review math facts while I'm detangling Dez's fro was not the best start to a Monday morning. #trailoftears

*Note to self: making the last week of summer super fun with Cards games, bike rides, sheet forts, and going to the movies is the opposite of what will excite him about going back to school. Next year make it a week of cleaning baseboards, weeding the backyard and alphabetizing our home library, all while playing the quiet game.
*Eliot just put his Ninja Turtles in "the fiery furnace". #Shadrach,MeshachandMichelangelo

*Perhaps it's a sign I'm being overly affectionate with my sensory child when he immediately begins backing up when I say, "I'm just so proud of you..."

SEPTEMBER
*I'm trying to read about Syria while a guy from Charter is fixing our internet and singing Fall Out Boy to me and explaining why it's his jam. Eliot is "teaching Dez numbers" by making him repeat each one after him starting with 1 with plans to finish at 100. # bangingmyheadagainstthewall #its5:00somewhere

*Just walked into the bathroom and found Dez using an electric toothbrush as a back massager. #resourceful #clever #gladitwasntmine #partyDez

*"Mom? Billy Yean is not my yover." -Dez

*"Boys! The playroom is a disaster! Get in here and clean it up!" -Me
"Nana made dat mess!" -Dez

*Dez just rode his bike helter skelter into the kitchen yelling, "GOD IS COMING, GOD IS COMING!" and hid in the cabinet. I always thought this announcement would come from the Mayan. Consider yourself warned. #apocalypse

*"Dez, I'm so proud of you for going potty the last few days!"

"Tank you, Mommy, I so poud of you for givin me M&M's."

*I don't know why I ever ever ever tell Eliot that we can't leave to go somewhere until Dez wakes up. It yields the same result EVERY TIME.

OCTOBER:
*(Re: the tornado siren test's creepy talking voice)

Dez: "Mom, dat guy say Dez needs fruit snacks."

*In the middle of a sibling argument unrelated to the following zing:
"Well guess what, Dez?! THOMAS ISNT EVEN A FAST ENGINE! Ha!" #jugular

*Got home from Nashville in time to pick Eliot up from school. Climbing in the car he announced, "I'm so proud of you guys for coming home! I missed you faster than a cheetah mixed with a falcon with cool shoes on!"

* (Dez was meowing while playing in another room)
I looked at Eliot: "We have a cat?"
E: "I never agreed to that." #heskillingme

*It's a middle name kinda night at Mohr Manor.

*"Mom, did you guys adopt Dez so I'd have subjects for my kingdom?" #nottheadoptionquestionIexpected

NOVEMBER:

*"This is how Shaun White's mom must have felt all the time." -as I walk into the boys' room and Eliot's cheering Dez on as he successfully rides his tricycle off his bed. Backwards. #Godblessher #frathouse

*Thank you, Daylight Savings Time, for that extra hour with my kids this morning. They used it to practice their arm-fart noises and fight over which train is the best. So, thank you for that. I hope you don't accidentally "fall back" in front of a moving vehicle.

*Before you congratulate us on our new 5 year old named Jackson, know that Eliot has an active imagination. Or Mayan intuition. Not sure which yet...

*Dear Kale and Spinach, if you want me to keep hiding you in foods my kids eat, I'm going to need you to work on your camouflage skills.

"Mom? Why do we have to eat the banana muffins in the dark?"

"Shhhh, honey, and eat another muffin."

*The good news is that while our children failed to follow any directions this morning they were at least disrespectful about it. #mondayfunday #notreally #morecoffeeplease #morepatienceplease

*Pointing to the CD player in his preschool classroom, Dez asked his teacher, "Listen Ice, Ice Baby? Peez?"

*Ah...that part of my day where the introvert (who's been around people all day) and the extrovert (who's been lonely all day) come together in beautiful harmony. And by harmony I mean fighting.#brothers

*It's not only lost on Eliot that I'm singing Adele lyrics to give him a spelling pre-test, but he's also begging me to stop. *sigh* #wastedtalents #pearlsamongswine

*I know he has some language processing issues but telling E he needed to rewind the tape in the VCR at Nana's really threw him. #oldschool

*This morning Eliot couldn't find one of his gloves which I later found out in front of our house. When I showed him I found it he said, "Thank you, mom! I'll bet Jesus kept an eye on it while God distracted the bad guys who wanted to steal it."

*I'm almost convinced that Dez isn't a real person. Pretty sure he's a cartoon. #thiskid

"I don't like myself anymore."

To date, this is the worst sentence I've heard Eliot utter. I had just asked him how his day at school was, knowing he's been struggling a lot lately.

"I don't like myself anymore. My brain doesn't work like everyone else's. I want to be normal. I'm frustrated all day. I can't make my brain focus."

I almost had to pull the car over.

This self-expression is a trophy of the last 2 years with a language pathologist. And while I was so crazy proud of how well he explained his feelings, I was crushed. There was frustration and a lack of the big picture, there was no grace, only failure.

So after a couple years of testing every accommodation, every intervention, every thing we could think of between ourselves and the teachers, we made the appointment with the doctor. As a teacher, I hated watching my students struggle but watching them on ADD meds was sometimes even worse. Unless the dosage and medicine are the exact right fit, I'd seen a lot of negative effects.

This was our last resort. But after hearing him say that, I picked my heart up off the ground and told him we'd try something new.

***********************************

Fast forward to yesterday. Dez and I pull Eliot from school right before lunch and zip off west for our appointment. We were there for a sweet forever as the doctor and I went over a bazillion questions. (In all honestly, it probably didn't take that long, but the two boys were creating the loudest circus possible in the room and I realized too late that I should have fed them before the appointment. And gotten a babysitter for Dez. And snuck a box of wine in my bag. And possibly a taser.) The inevitable "No Family Medical History" bright red flag showed up and the doctor voiced her concerns over starting a medicine that can affect heart rates with no knowledge of whether or not that should be a concern. We agreed an EKG gathering base line stats would be our best option.

So instead of taking my anxious 7 year old and overly-tired 2 year old back home (did I mention nap time was several hours ago?), we booked an appointment at the hospital. The office worker asked if I minded waiting 20 or so minutes for the insurance to be cleared and I asked her if she minded me taking my boys to lunch instead. I see your helpfulness and raise you an I'm-getting-them-out-of-here-ASAP.

I let (forced) the boys play at the Chick-fil-a play area while I ate in peace, waiting for the call with the green light from insurance. And by peace I mean, the "What ifs" pulled up a seat at the table. What if the EKG reveals something serious? What if the medicine hurts my son? What if this is the wrong decision? What if my hesitations have been a mother's intuition and I should cling to those?

Once the insurance call came I gathered their leftovers including their unopened chocolate milks and headed to the car. Only once I got them settled (amidst tears of over-tiredness and thirst), I couldn't get their milks open. Like, at all. Sealed tight, not budging. Like the JFK files were hidden inside. The more I struggled, the more they grew impatient.

I thought, "This is it. This is how moms lose it in parking lots, the security camera footage making it onto the local news. They're so preoccupied with worry about some medical thing that chocolate milk becomes their undoing. They've pushed their kids too hard for one day and it's showing and the only solution to everything being okay is getting this chocolate milk open."

Overwhelmed with defeat, I got into the drivers seat asking the boys to please be patient. I tried a couple more times and nothing. The boys were practically dehydrating in front of me.

And then a car pulled up next to me. A young couple got out. I slowly rolled down the window and in desperation said, "Excuse me? This may sound REALLY odd but I can't get my kids' milk open and they're losing it and I'm about to. Would you mind trying for me?"

Please. With all my heart I wished you could have seen her face.

She, of course, was able to open them both. She might as well have given me her kidney for as thankful as I was. I jumped out of the car to give Dez's to him and as I grabbed his door handle, it moved. This might have happened again.

Not sure how, but we safely arrived at the cardiologist in one piece. The sweet nurse attached the wires to Eliot and he was so brave.

Looking at my child attached to all those for the brief few minutes it took to get a reading, it occurred to me. We need to get to his heart.

Medical questions aside, get to his heart. No matter what the test reads, if he reacts to this frustration by not wanting to be himself anymore, I've got to get to his heart. Even if he was just caught up in the moment when he said that, it's fruit of deeper things. He's my absolute treasure and being his mom has been nothing but life changing. What I view as a hiccup, he views as a dead end. Something is broken and it's our job to help him fix it. I could have just said, "Oh honey, don't say that!" which is what I wanted to say. I didn't want to have heard that, I wanted to turn on his favorite music or take him to the park to play, hoping those external things would take it away. But I've got to get to his heart. He let me in to his internal struggle and I'm taking that seriously. When he forgets who he is, or whose he is, it's our job to restore that, our job to clear up the fog. 

I know there will be frustrations along the way, but I also know that "The way we speak to our children becomes their inner voice." I'm thankful for the opportunities to correct wrong perspectives so early on already and don't take that responsibility lightly.

Parenting is by far the hardest thing I've ever done but I thank God every day that He allowed me and trusted me to be this kids' mom.

**By the way, everything came back normal on the EKG and Dez DIDN'T EVEN DRINK HIS CHOCOLATE MILK.

Greed by any other name would still CLING TO HIS TOYS.

Last year while in Guatemala, our family (Russ) was asked to help build bunk beds for a family whose children attend the school we worked with. The day was also spent with a neighbor boy, a squishy cute 3 year old with whom Eliot shared his toys all day. Including a handful of matchbox cars. At the end of the day I asked Eliot if he wanted to give one of his cars to his new little friend. His reaction was to cling, CLING to his backpack full of toys as if it were his oxygen tank.

Startled by his reaction, I reminded him of the basketloads of cars waiting for him at home. It was no consolation. He could only see those within his grasp. As a mom, I didn't love seeing the 6 year old version of selfishness and/or materialism no matter how "developmentally appropriate" it was. At that moment it became clear that he'd learned sharing as a tolerance instead of as generosity.

Fast forward to a couple months ago. As Russ was designing Eliot's amazing birthday party invitations I had an idea, knowing we were headed to Guatemala the day after the party. I ran it by Eliot.

"Hey El, what if instead of your friends bringing you gifts (since you'll be getting plenty of gifts from your family), they bring new matchbox cars for you to give away in Guatemala?" He was *sort of* on board.

(Sidenote: we were inviting his whole class (plus more), of which is pretty diverse socio-economically. We were going to say "No gifts" in case the expectation to bring one would keep anyone away. This party would not have been a gift revenue source either way.)

Upon revisiting the idea multiple times since that first convo, this is what he heard: "Your friends will give you new cars. You'll pick the ones you don't like and give them away." OR "Your friends will give you new cars and you will give away your old cars." We kept reminding him of the original plan.



The invitations went out. The night before the party I asked Sandra (MIL) and Russ if they thought Eliot understood what was going to happen with the cars. The party came. We partied like it was 1999. The party ended. We gathered all the bags in the living room. We held our breath, waiting to see if there would be any tension as Eliot opened 116 brand new cars. 116 brand new cars. He'd never seen a collection that big or shiny ever. And they were all sitting in his living room.

After a lot of "Look at this one, guys!" and "Woah, red is my favorite color!" and of course, "Look at the spoiler on this one!" they were all opened and put into columns.

He looked them all over and said, "I can't wait for the Guatemalans to see these!"

And then I wept.

When Russ asked, "Well Eliot, what do you think?" Eliot asked if he could maybe keep 2. Russ offered to buy two extra before the trip to replace the 2 he wanted and Eliot was content.

And then I wept. Again.

Eliot wheeled his small suitcase through the airport proudly, laughing at the xray machine showing an entire carry-on full of cars. The day came. We headed to Guatemala City and met with a new ministry. We brought out the two bags and told Eliot it was finally time. We started down one walkway and saw a few kids. Eliot carefully chose cars for them. One little girl paused, looked closely at her pink car. Her eyes widened, a smile broke out across her face and she took off running yelling, "MAMA!" Eliot looked at me and smiled.

And then I wept.

It took about .4 seconds for word to spread through the neighborhood that someone was handing out cars. Sweet kids came from every doorway and every alley. Eliot happily passed out every single car and was disappointed when he ran out.


Did this whole experience teach him generosity like we'd hoped? We have no idea. Did he come home and immediately start giving everything away? No. In fact he had get used to sharing with a certain 2 year old again. But our hope is in the seeds planted.

We wanted him to feel it. To feel generous. To wish he had more to give away. To experience joy through sacrifice.

We have no idea what we're doing as parents the majority of the time. I've tried outsourcing the development of my kid's character but no dice. The problem is that "more is caught than taught" so while we work hard to provide experiences like this, it really comes back to what they're seeing is us on a regular basis. I've got some work to do.

Alert! Eliot milestone!

This week we went to the dentist. Eliot was due for a cleaning and had three adult teeth sneaking in behind his baby teeth, heading toward shark-ism. Most kids his age have between 20-24 teeth. He has 27. Our little overachiever.

Dez kept trying to get into the chair with Eliot, so our hygienist put him up there and took a look! He's behind by 8 teeth...

The dentist set up an appointment for two weeks out to remove those baby teeth but told him to wiggle them as much as possible before then. After we left, I looked at each of them and we decided to focus all our time and energy to one on bottom.

Later that night? This happened.

He kept saying how now he looks like a second grader. Which is accurate. And terrifying.

Latergram

My fav Instagrams over the last 9 weeks...feel free to follow me at katielmohr! I'll steal a few from Russ' feed next! If you're not on IG yet, I highly recommend it. We're obsessed about it over here!

Fall jumpstart?

We missed strawberry and blueberry picking seasons. #parentfail #droughtfailactually

However, I'm writing today to announce that we, The Mohrs, did NOT in fact miss apple picking season.

I know how important this is to you all. Thank you for praying us through such a difficult time.

Good ol' fashioned funny.

Our girls! (They live with us. Surprised they're not on here more often...)

I'd like to introduce you to 14 year old Eliot...geesh.

Our new friends, the Millers!

As soon as we got home, Eliot begged us to make carmel apples. He talked about the whole time we picked apples, asked in the car, etc. So that's what we did. For the next hour, we figured out how to make these dang things. After they'd cooled and set, Eliot and I sat down to eat some. Eliot got about 4 bites in and said, "Mom, do we have any without this stuff on the outside? Like with just the inside and skin?" I said, "you mean just an apple?" and he got so excited and said, "YES!!"

Mkay...

The status of Eliot, vol 2.

I thought it was time again, since I can't seem to stop myself from using social media to record my son's ridiculousness. Here's any Eliot-related status updates from my FB page.

*"I just got Love & Logic'ed by my 5 year old. "Mom, do you want me to watch cartoons or play Wii?""

*"Not only did Eliot find the girl scout cookie stash, he moved it to his snack shelf."

*"An Eliot Mohr original, sung to the tune of Take Me Out To The Ballgame: take me out to the bathroom, take me out to the poop, buy me some toilet paper, mommy, mumble mumble, for its nun-ber 2 right now in the ol bathroom!"

*"Little bit jealous of how easily Eliot makes Dez laugh uncontrollably."

*"Dear Eliot, for your 6th birthday you get to climb an active volcano with 20 sorority girls. That's just the kind of parents we are...happy birthday."

*"E woke me up this morning by asking for a mohawk and a pool in the back yard."

*"In the middle of watching a cartoon after school, Eliot sighed and said, "Ah..it's great to be home." I mean, really?"

*"Cutest thing I've heard today: "Mom, can Dez be Mayan so we can make him a cape that says Flyin Mayan Baby?""

*"Yesterday while walking to school, Eliot slowly kept moving his index finger along the palm of his opposite hand. When questioned, he said he was using Google maps to get to school."

*"I know you've gotten a lot of Eliot quotes lately, but he just came to me and said, "Mom, I have to tell you something. I'm going to wear socks with sandals today. It's going to be okay, Mom.""

*"Fav part of the trip thus far: while chillin' after climbing to the top of a hill overlooking Antigua, Eliot spontaneously and quietly started singing "He's got the whole world in His hands""

*"Eliot: Mom, God likes mohawks.
Me: really? How do u know that?
Eliot: Cuz He made zebras with them."

*"Me: Eliot, can I have one of your goldfish?
E: Yep, here you go (as he hands me a tiny crumb)
Me: Uh...hello, I'm your mother! Don't I get a bigger one? (I teach entitlement as soon as possible)
E: here you go, sorry! (hands me a bigger broken piece)
Me: Eliot! Really? Why aren't you sharing a whole fish?
E: (whispers) because the broken ones are my favorite..."

*"So far today, Eliot has reprimanded me for never putting away my shoes and for still being in my pajamas and it's almost 10:00! #whendoessummerschoolstart?"

*"To let you know what parenting issues we have ahead of us: Eliot just casually mentioned he had a dream about Wonder Woman."

*"Yesterday I had "The Chat" with Eliot. Didn't see that coming so soon. I explained how great facial bone structure doesn't excuse you from being honest with the world. That kind of dishonesty not only hurts you but cheats everyone out of a second album. This after I caught him humming along with Blame It On The Rain."

*"Eliot has started calling Russ Mohr "RussBucket"."

*"Reason #352 to have two kids: while one stresses you out the other is quietly singing "Ice ice baby... too cold, too cold" off in the distance."

*"Yes I'm wearing a tutu and tiara while making dinner. My 3 ninjas are protecting their princess, duh."

*"Fairly certain Eliot is the only person on the planet still singing "Pants on the Ground" on a regular basis."

*"Me: Eliot, we're eating salmon for dinner.
E: uh...who's Sam?"

*"Me: eliot, what are you guys doing in there?
E: Just teaching Dez how to do a cartwheel."

*"Me: Eliot, socks with sandals again?
Eliot: I'm sexy and I know it."

(Here's the Eliot status updates from Jan-Mar.)

Eliot turned 6! (a couple months ago...)

Eliot's birthday happen to fall during our trip to Guatemala this year. So, for his birthday we brought him to his homeland with 20 sorority girls and let him ride horseback up an active volcano.(yes, the same volcano that kept us there last trip...)

Go big or go home.

His actual b-day started at &Cafe, then we headed to one of our ministry sites to freshen up the paint, which he was happy to help with...

"The World's Greatest Brownie" happens to be baked at a restaurant next to our hotel and one of our Baylor girls happens to love being a weirdo to people on their birthday.

A couple days later, we took the team to hike Volcano Pacaya. Russ and I have both been several times but have never taken Eliot. We decided he could handle it, since he's so very old and mature now. We also knew they offered "taxi" service for a small fee. Win/win.

Our guide took us to this spot in the volcano where you can actually climb into this small hole and it's crazy hot inside. Like a mini-sauna. Check that off the to-do list?

Happy birthday, Flyin' Mayan!

And it begins...