The status of Eliot, vol 2.

I thought it was time again, since I can't seem to stop myself from using social media to record my son's ridiculousness. Here's any Eliot-related status updates from my FB page.

*"I just got Love & Logic'ed by my 5 year old. "Mom, do you want me to watch cartoons or play Wii?""

*"Not only did Eliot find the girl scout cookie stash, he moved it to his snack shelf."

*"An Eliot Mohr original, sung to the tune of Take Me Out To The Ballgame: take me out to the bathroom, take me out to the poop, buy me some toilet paper, mommy, mumble mumble, for its nun-ber 2 right now in the ol bathroom!"

*"Little bit jealous of how easily Eliot makes Dez laugh uncontrollably."

*"Dear Eliot, for your 6th birthday you get to climb an active volcano with 20 sorority girls. That's just the kind of parents we are...happy birthday."

*"E woke me up this morning by asking for a mohawk and a pool in the back yard."

*"In the middle of watching a cartoon after school, Eliot sighed and said, "Ah..it's great to be home." I mean, really?"

*"Cutest thing I've heard today: "Mom, can Dez be Mayan so we can make him a cape that says Flyin Mayan Baby?""

*"Yesterday while walking to school, Eliot slowly kept moving his index finger along the palm of his opposite hand. When questioned, he said he was using Google maps to get to school."

*"I know you've gotten a lot of Eliot quotes lately, but he just came to me and said, "Mom, I have to tell you something. I'm going to wear socks with sandals today. It's going to be okay, Mom.""

*"Fav part of the trip thus far: while chillin' after climbing to the top of a hill overlooking Antigua, Eliot spontaneously and quietly started singing "He's got the whole world in His hands""

*"Eliot: Mom, God likes mohawks.
Me: really? How do u know that?
Eliot: Cuz He made zebras with them."

*"Me: Eliot, can I have one of your goldfish?
E: Yep, here you go (as he hands me a tiny crumb)
Me: Uh...hello, I'm your mother! Don't I get a bigger one? (I teach entitlement as soon as possible)
E: here you go, sorry! (hands me a bigger broken piece)
Me: Eliot! Really? Why aren't you sharing a whole fish?
E: (whispers) because the broken ones are my favorite..."

*"So far today, Eliot has reprimanded me for never putting away my shoes and for still being in my pajamas and it's almost 10:00! #whendoessummerschoolstart?"

*"To let you know what parenting issues we have ahead of us: Eliot just casually mentioned he had a dream about Wonder Woman."

*"Yesterday I had "The Chat" with Eliot. Didn't see that coming so soon. I explained how great facial bone structure doesn't excuse you from being honest with the world. That kind of dishonesty not only hurts you but cheats everyone out of a second album. This after I caught him humming along with Blame It On The Rain."

*"Eliot has started calling Russ Mohr "RussBucket"."

*"Reason #352 to have two kids: while one stresses you out the other is quietly singing "Ice ice baby... too cold, too cold" off in the distance."

*"Yes I'm wearing a tutu and tiara while making dinner. My 3 ninjas are protecting their princess, duh."

*"Fairly certain Eliot is the only person on the planet still singing "Pants on the Ground" on a regular basis."

*"Me: Eliot, we're eating salmon for dinner.
E: uh...who's Sam?"

*"Me: eliot, what are you guys doing in there?
E: Just teaching Dez how to do a cartwheel."

*"Me: Eliot, socks with sandals again?
Eliot: I'm sexy and I know it."

(Here's the Eliot status updates from Jan-Mar.)