I've written this post and rewritten this post. There's a few drafts, all from different angles, still unpublished. I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Drama. Draaaama.
My Arbonne upline had a really tough conversation with me months ago. I brushed it off as nothing but have been keenly aware of what she said at all times since then. She pointed out an area of my life that could potentially be on the self-destructive side. I assured her I was fine but, to be honest, I'm humbly admitting there's probably some truth to what she said.
I brought this specific issue up to Russ, assuming he'd see how preposterous she was being. Instead of agreeing with me, he sat quietly for a moment until he gathered the courage to admit his agreement with her, even citing specifics instances that supported it.
To be honest, I felt a little attacked. Defensive.
Feeling above their reproof, I attempted to remove this behavior from my daily life. It wasn't until then that I realized that there is, indeed, an issue. A problem.
I, Katie Mohr, am addicted to an unhealthy amount of dairy consumption.
It is a major part of my life. A constant companion. A comfort, a treat, a smiling part of every meal and snack.
But, dairy to me, is a wolf in sheep's clothing. Dairy, yummy yummy dairy, just might be the cause of my psoriasis. (Psoriasis: ugly and uncomfortable skin issue that originally led me to arbonne in the first place but even with the amazing products, my skin gets pretty bad on my hands, neck and scalp.) I took 3 weeks and drastically cut my intake and, sadly, it made a huge difference. I tried to explain it away and shift the blame onto other factors. After those 3 weeks, I went back to life as usual and within days, my hands were cracked and even bleeding.
Without going into each and every detail, just know this has broken my heart and left me standing aimlessly countless times in the kitchen.
If I eat/drink dairy, my hands bleed. If I refrain, my heart bleeds.
I can practically feel the osteoporosis eating away at my frail bones.
If I've appeared shaky or short-tempered with you at any point in the last two months, this has been why. This isn't going to be an easy road for me.
I would appreciate your support, ideas, and accountability.