I've written this post and rewritten this post. There's a few drafts, all from different angles, still unpublished. I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Drama. Draaaama.
My Arbonne upline had a really tough conversation with me months ago. I brushed it off as nothing but have been keenly aware of what she said at all times since then. She pointed out an area of my life that could potentially be on the self-destructive side. I assured her I was fine but, to be honest, I'm humbly admitting there's probably some truth to what she said.
I brought this specific issue up to Russ, assuming he'd see how preposterous she was being. Instead of agreeing with me, he sat quietly for a moment until he gathered the courage to admit his agreement with her, even citing specifics instances that supported it.
To be honest, I felt a little attacked. Defensive.
Feeling above their reproof, I attempted to remove this behavior from my daily life. It wasn't until then that I realized that there is, indeed, an issue. A problem.
I, Katie Mohr, am addicted to an unhealthy amount of dairy consumption.
It is a major part of my life. A constant companion. A comfort, a treat, a smiling part of every meal and snack.
But, dairy to me, is a wolf in sheep's clothing. Dairy, yummy yummy dairy, just might be the cause of my psoriasis. (Psoriasis: ugly and uncomfortable skin issue that originally led me to arbonne in the first place but even with the amazing products, my skin gets pretty bad on my hands, neck and scalp.) I took 3 weeks and drastically cut my intake and, sadly, it made a huge difference. I tried to explain it away and shift the blame onto other factors. After those 3 weeks, I went back to life as usual and within days, my hands were cracked and even bleeding.
Without going into each and every detail, just know this has broken my heart and left me standing aimlessly countless times in the kitchen.
If I eat/drink dairy, my hands bleed. If I refrain, my heart bleeds.
I can practically feel the osteoporosis eating away at my frail bones.
If I've appeared shaky or short-tempered with you at any point in the last two months, this has been why. This isn't going to be an easy road for me.
I would appreciate your support, ideas, and accountability.
6 comments:
i guess cheese to you is like mnt dew to me... if i had to choose bleeding hands over the punch of energy it gives me i might have to buy stock in bandaids!
good luck... i don't envy you! :)
I just found out I'm allergic to dairy too. It's devastating. We can form a support group.
MODERATION.
Ooooh, as far as support, I'm afraid I don't have much to offer you. I have always said I would DIE if I ever had to live without dairy. DIE I tell you. And then I had a son who was full of eczema and allergic to dairy (and to soy as well, making it a little more difficult).
Of course that didn't have all that much affect on me and my habits, but still, I did learn a few ways around things like that... like for instance did you know there are homemade recipes for non-diary cheese? And it tastes pretty good.
And there's always the chance that if you (completely) cut it out for a few years, your body will return to loving it as much as you do. Sawyer grew out of it after two years. (He's no longer allergic but sadly, because he never had it the first two and a half years of his life, he now hates milk. He still prefers Rice Milk over the good stuff. Poor guy.)
Katie - I also have issues with dairy. I discovered this one summer in college after keeping a food diary and figuring out the culprit. I literally cried. For me it is a lactose thing but I do allow myself little bits here and there because a complete withdrawal is out of the question. It gets better. I suggest a gradual draw down rather than cold turkey! Good luck!
Poop. Giving up anything you really like just stinks. I hear that Sams has some kind of really good dairy free cheese. Maybe soy can be your new best friend?
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