After I clicked on 'publish post' yesterday Eliot woke up from a 3-hour nap. Because his nap lasted so long we didn't have time to make lunch and eat it at home before his doctor appointment. So what did we do? We went to McDonalds. I chuckled to myself at the irony of my post earlier that day and the fact that I was shoving greasy french fries at my little man in attempts to get somewhere on time. Thought I would share the difference in reality and ideals!
Yesterday was our first doctor appointment since coming home. Eliot did amazing right up until the whole needles in his leg thing! She said he was doing great and she wasn't super concerned that he's not walking independently yet.
According to the very authoritative Puppy Clifford, love makes little things grow. On that note, Eliot still weighs only 20.6 lbs. He only gained a 1/2lb since leaving Guatemala, even after a McDonald's trip! He's also less than a 1/2 inch longer. For those of you who love percentiles: in the weight category Eliot is in the 5%, in length the 30%, and in head circ. just the 3%. He's our little man!
Friday, August 17, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
man cannot live on fruit alone...
Eliot is in this interesting stage of life where he knows a little bit more of what he wants and doesn't want. He wants fruit all day every day. He doesn't want to take an afternoon nap (which is slowly being phased out anyway). He wants to be with me when we're in a crowded room and he wants to play basketball. He doesn't want to take long car rides and he doesn't want me to work on the computer while he's playing. Eliot may not know that it's inappropriate to "call the hogs" during church, at least not in MO, and wouldn't understand that for a little while so it's up to us to make that clear. (Silly example, I know, but applicable for us!) So, this part of motherhood presents the question that I daily, sometimes hourly, struggle with: Do I do what's easiest or do I do what's best? Do I do something because it works or do something until it works?
As Russ and I say goodbye to a group of kids heading to college this week, I'm contemplative over each one. Someday, probably sooner than I realize according to all the moms I've talked to this week, Eliot will be leaving home. Blah. We just got here! =) There's so many aspects of each of these "kids" that I pray for in Eliot. For many of them I don't have to wonder which of their moms chose what was best in place of what was easiest, especially when it came to boundaries, i.e. health, friends, television, entertainment, education, etc. I also know that this is a part of parenthood that doesn't come and go but is a constant in shaping who your child is and will be. I wonder why we label this as being "the bad guy" sometimes when in the long run; it's clearly the best.
So, couple of conclusions for me this morning:
1. I will choose what's best when I can but not beat myself up when I'm inclined to choose what's easiest once in awhile. I will not succumb to his fake cry and give him what he wants even though it's against my better judgment.
2. From here on out I'll consider myself "the good guy" whenever I'm making Eliot do something that he may not want to do! He will eat those carrots! (p.s. thanks mom and dad for not letting me go to that party in 7th grade even though I threw out every teenage drama queen thing I could think of to make you change your mind or regret it! You were the good guys, after all!)
3.I will pray daily for the influences that will come into Eliot's life that would encourage him to choose the best, not the easiest when it's up to him. I know our influence will only go so far in Eliot's life and that there will be others that come along.
That's about it this morning. I'll throw in a pic of Eliot so that you'll have something to grin at after you read through my declarations of motherhood!
As Russ and I say goodbye to a group of kids heading to college this week, I'm contemplative over each one. Someday, probably sooner than I realize according to all the moms I've talked to this week, Eliot will be leaving home. Blah. We just got here! =) There's so many aspects of each of these "kids" that I pray for in Eliot. For many of them I don't have to wonder which of their moms chose what was best in place of what was easiest, especially when it came to boundaries, i.e. health, friends, television, entertainment, education, etc. I also know that this is a part of parenthood that doesn't come and go but is a constant in shaping who your child is and will be. I wonder why we label this as being "the bad guy" sometimes when in the long run; it's clearly the best.
So, couple of conclusions for me this morning:
1. I will choose what's best when I can but not beat myself up when I'm inclined to choose what's easiest once in awhile. I will not succumb to his fake cry and give him what he wants even though it's against my better judgment.
2. From here on out I'll consider myself "the good guy" whenever I'm making Eliot do something that he may not want to do! He will eat those carrots! (p.s. thanks mom and dad for not letting me go to that party in 7th grade even though I threw out every teenage drama queen thing I could think of to make you change your mind or regret it! You were the good guys, after all!)
3.I will pray daily for the influences that will come into Eliot's life that would encourage him to choose the best, not the easiest when it's up to him. I know our influence will only go so far in Eliot's life and that there will be others that come along.
That's about it this morning. I'll throw in a pic of Eliot so that you'll have something to grin at after you read through my declarations of motherhood!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Trip North!
Well, the trip back home went 100 times better than the one down south. Here's a couple of thoughts on why:
1. Eliot doesn't like Russ's driving skills.
2. Eliot not only loves Christina Aguilera but loves my ability to sing along with her.
3. Eliot handles anything better with 12 hours of sleep as opposed to 8 hours.
4. Eliot knew that he was going home again. Home. With his puppies and his room and where his dad was. Home.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
FAQ's
This is my Frequently Asked Questions post. Now that I've been home a month (I can't even believe that!) I've noticed a trend in the questions I get so I thought I'd just post the answers in case you also had those questions!
1. Do you feel like you've adjusted yet?
Yes and No! We've been so busy since returning that there's only been a few days that have seemed "normal" so far. We've only had a couple of days in over four weeks that we haven't had visitors stop by (which we love!) so, we haven't settled into a regular life quite yet but Eliot's schedule is going great. I've gotten back into my Arbonne business in the last week and a half and that feels normal and is helping me mentally adjust a little more. We've been to church, to the S's house, to Russ's softball games, to Target and the Mall, to restaurants each several times to the point that it's normal to be there now. Howver, it's definitely different being a mom in the states.
2. What's the biggest difference in being a mom there and here?
The pace of life. In Antigua life was like the movie "Groundhog Day". It all looked pretty much the same each day and it was extremely chilled out. Here we go pretty nonstop. I miss having all day to really focus on Eliot. I even had a housekeeper in both places I lived in Guate, so even housekeeping while giving Eliot attention is a big adjustment. (So don't look closely at my house for a little while...)
3. What's one of your favorite parts about being back?
Foregoing the obvious, there's a few things that have surprised me. I didn't realize how much I missed singing at the top of my lungs. I only do that in two places, the car and at home alone, and never had that opportunity while there. Weird thing to appreciate, I know.
4. Is Eliot adjusting okay?
Yep, he's done better than me. He's acting as if this is always how it's been. He's always had dogs, a big crib, and been surrounded by white people speaking english. =)
5. Is Eliot walking?
Funny you should ask, he just took his first steps on Friday morning! Then on Saturday night he took 4 in a row already! Unfortunately no one had any self-control and everyone screamed. Not sure how soon Eliot will walk again...
6. Do you miss Guatemala?
Absolutely. The people and culture became part of my heart and I really do cherish the time I got to spend there. A bunch of the 'guatemamas' are already talking about a reunion in 5 years. I also really miss my friends that are still there. I wish it were possible to go see them again and bring a little encouragement their way! I miss the great coffee, fresh produce for really cheap, walks to the park, and the amazing weather.
7. Did you lose weight while you were gone?
Yep, it was hard not to. Living there you have to be active just to live normal life. In 7 and 1/2 months I was probably in a car around 10 times. Not only do you walk everywhere but you are also toting around a 20lb weight with you everywhere. I miss being so active all the time. Also, Guatemalan restaurants don't serve American sized portions of food, so naturally I wasn't eating big portions anymore.
8. How is Sharon's case going? What about Melissa's?
Yes, I get this question probably more often than many of the others! You are all so sweet to keep them in mind! Sharon is back into PGN finally! We are praying daily that she gets approval this time and NO MORE KICKOUTS! She's been keeping her blog updated very regularly, feel free to check it out! Melissa's case is still waiting on a final answer. It shouldn't be long though, pray that it's SOON! Both of their girls are 15months old already! It's getting more challenging to raise a toddler in Antigua, so let's pray them out of there!
1. Do you feel like you've adjusted yet?
Yes and No! We've been so busy since returning that there's only been a few days that have seemed "normal" so far. We've only had a couple of days in over four weeks that we haven't had visitors stop by (which we love!) so, we haven't settled into a regular life quite yet but Eliot's schedule is going great. I've gotten back into my Arbonne business in the last week and a half and that feels normal and is helping me mentally adjust a little more. We've been to church, to the S's house, to Russ's softball games, to Target and the Mall, to restaurants each several times to the point that it's normal to be there now. Howver, it's definitely different being a mom in the states.
2. What's the biggest difference in being a mom there and here?
The pace of life. In Antigua life was like the movie "Groundhog Day". It all looked pretty much the same each day and it was extremely chilled out. Here we go pretty nonstop. I miss having all day to really focus on Eliot. I even had a housekeeper in both places I lived in Guate, so even housekeeping while giving Eliot attention is a big adjustment. (So don't look closely at my house for a little while...)
3. What's one of your favorite parts about being back?
Foregoing the obvious, there's a few things that have surprised me. I didn't realize how much I missed singing at the top of my lungs. I only do that in two places, the car and at home alone, and never had that opportunity while there. Weird thing to appreciate, I know.
4. Is Eliot adjusting okay?
Yep, he's done better than me. He's acting as if this is always how it's been. He's always had dogs, a big crib, and been surrounded by white people speaking english. =)
5. Is Eliot walking?
Funny you should ask, he just took his first steps on Friday morning! Then on Saturday night he took 4 in a row already! Unfortunately no one had any self-control and everyone screamed. Not sure how soon Eliot will walk again...
6. Do you miss Guatemala?
Absolutely. The people and culture became part of my heart and I really do cherish the time I got to spend there. A bunch of the 'guatemamas' are already talking about a reunion in 5 years. I also really miss my friends that are still there. I wish it were possible to go see them again and bring a little encouragement their way! I miss the great coffee, fresh produce for really cheap, walks to the park, and the amazing weather.
7. Did you lose weight while you were gone?
Yep, it was hard not to. Living there you have to be active just to live normal life. In 7 and 1/2 months I was probably in a car around 10 times. Not only do you walk everywhere but you are also toting around a 20lb weight with you everywhere. I miss being so active all the time. Also, Guatemalan restaurants don't serve American sized portions of food, so naturally I wasn't eating big portions anymore.
8. How is Sharon's case going? What about Melissa's?
Yes, I get this question probably more often than many of the others! You are all so sweet to keep them in mind! Sharon is back into PGN finally! We are praying daily that she gets approval this time and NO MORE KICKOUTS! She's been keeping her blog updated very regularly, feel free to check it out! Melissa's case is still waiting on a final answer. It shouldn't be long though, pray that it's SOON! Both of their girls are 15months old already! It's getting more challenging to raise a toddler in Antigua, so let's pray them out of there!
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Trip south!
Eliot got his first road trip done with. Or should I say, we as parents got our first road trip with a baby over with. The first hour was great, Eliot playing until he fell asleep. Then we stopped for lunch and I had to use some self-control not to lose it while Eliot starred at two large hairy construction workers during our entire lunch. When starring didn't seem to be enough, he decided to growl at them. There's something about Eliot's little face that makes even the hairiest of construction workers giggle. Yep, these two men, tired from half a day's work in the hot sun, found themselves giggling at our little guy as he repeatedly growled at them in between french fries.
Then we got back in the car to head out on the longest leg of the trip. We got about 45 miles away before we decided to stop at a reststop to give ourselves a break from Eliot's fussiness. He apparently was not a fan of roadtripping. We were definitely not fans of his newfound hatred for the car seat.
For the next hour, he declared his unhappiness but eventually fell asleep, PRAISE GOD! We made it to Arkansas with only an extra half hour of time added to the normal time frame.
Eliot met a bunch of Russ's family within just an hour of being here. He happily pulled out all the tricks. We'll see how much time we have to blog over the next few days, there's a shimmery pool calling my name just outside the door...
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Note to Self-2
When you have a toddler who constantly pulls himself up, always make sure your pants are securely fastened onto your waist.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Zoo trip with Fisher!
...and Fisher's mom Heather! Heather and I used to teach together. She was the teacher out on maternity leave last fall that I covered for before leaving for Guatemala. We met our other teammate, Sylvie for lunch and then headed to the zoo.
Eliot is getting more excited each time we go. He's starting to process what these animals are. However, if you know Heather and Fisher, I highly recommend you go to the zoo with them sometime. Fisher is hilariously animated about these animals. He had me laughing the entire afternoon! Here's some pics of our little men!
Friday, August 3, 2007
To my dear friend, Sharon
Today is Sharon's anniversary. Normally anniversaries are a time of celebration but I feel mixed on this one. Today marks the day that she's lived in Antigua, Guatemala for one year. Let me say that again, she's lived in Guatemala for one whole year. That stretches my mind as I try and wrap it around what that would have been like. We came home after just 7 and 1/2 months and I thought that was an eternity. Sharon and her family, just as we did, assumed they would be home by last fall, so she packed her bags and headed south on August 3rd of last year. She had no idea she would be there this long. We used to joke about being "legends" in the fostering world. She, a legend for length of time living there; Me, a legend for amount of previos (kickout/ mistakes). Of course we should be friends! We were like superpowers!
Sharon was my first friend that I made when I got to Antigua back in November. She was so willing to show me the ropes of how to foster in Guatemala. She was my hardest goodbye upon leaving in July. I miss her terribly and a day doesn't pass that I don't think of her. Whether it's her making fun of my omeletes, sharing stories of our past until we're crying from laughter, walking through town with our babies strapped to our front, or just encouraging each other throughout the yucky process. She was so good to me every time I got bad news. She would willingly go to my favorite cafe for lunch if I needed some comfort food, even though we'd eaten there 4 times that week already. She even cried when Russ surprised me by coming for an unannounced visit!
Sharon amazes me. She is like a brave warrior for her daughter. She has sacrificed so much and allowed the Lord to teach her during this time. Many would become angry and bitter and choose to set up camp there and noone would question it but Sharon has chosen time and time again to live in the freedom that the Lord has this under control. Yes, it sucks but what a blessing to be with Bella during the wait. Do yourself a favor and go read her blog entry for today (she's linked to my blog), it's a blessing to read what's on her heart today.
I can't do much for her at this point except pray. Her case is messy and there's an indefinite timeframe on when she can return to the states with Bella. I'm asking for 28 other people to join Russ and I in committing to prayer for Sharon, her family and their case over the next 30 days. I'm asking that you commit to one day over the next 30 days to get on your knees for this family. Prayer is so powerful and we need to rise up in intercessory for this family. If you can join me in this, email me at katielmohr@hotmail.com and I'll give you a date and some specifics on their situation.
Miss you, good friend!
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Congrats!
For those of you that keep up with the other adoption blogs: yesterday Russ, Eliot and I made our way to the airport to welcome Rebecca, Shannon, and new American Citizen Owen to St. Louis. (my camera decided not to function yesterday or you'd see the pics! Sorry!) What a great opportunity. That may sound silly but I got to be on the other side of the whole 'airport scene' yesterday and I loved it. So, a huge congrats to the new family settling into their new life this week!
As we turned the corner to get to the hallway to get to the gates, I found myself surprisingly emotional to be there. I hadn't thought of this happening! I passed it off as being excited for Rebecca and her family (which I was) but I know there was more to it. Not only are we home, but we're settled (sort of). I just was happily and emotionally surprised at this unexpected chance to reflect. God is so good. We're home and have an amazing story to cherish of how Mr. E came to be.
Welcome home friends!!!
As we turned the corner to get to the hallway to get to the gates, I found myself surprisingly emotional to be there. I hadn't thought of this happening! I passed it off as being excited for Rebecca and her family (which I was) but I know there was more to it. Not only are we home, but we're settled (sort of). I just was happily and emotionally surprised at this unexpected chance to reflect. God is so good. We're home and have an amazing story to cherish of how Mr. E came to be.
Welcome home friends!!!
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
The Truth?
Now that I'm home and all is complete with Eliot, there's some 'behind the scenes' type stuff that occured there at the end that we didn't feel comfortable sharing at the time. We wanted to get home and be 100% done with everything before we shared this part of our story.
After getting submitted back into PGN the very beginning of May I met with a group of lawyers called Adoption Supervisors of Guatemala. They are a third party that has a vast legal knowledge of how the adoption world works, especially in PGN. They have great relationships with all the people in PGN and are comfortable going in and representing cases when original lawyers are not. After meeting with them and sharing information on my case with them they agreed that something didn't sound right. I had stopped getting any answers from our original lawyer and my agency was stuck with only what the lawyer offered, which wasn't anything. It was getting shadier by the minute.
AS (adoption supervisors) can be hired for two levels of involvement. (yes, that word was 'hired' which means extra $$$) The first level is just facts. They go into PGN, look at your actual file and give you all the details. All the dates of submission, kickouts and what each kickout was for. After that they meet with you and give you a recommendation of whether or not they can help your case. Several of my friends had hired them since being in Guatemala and they were all at home, even the messiest cases. Contrary to popular belief, everything they do is legal. Russ and I prayed about it and the only thing that was holding us back was the money. We stood in agreement that when money is the only thing stopping us, we will go ahead with a decision and trust that the Lord will provide. (Sidenote: This doesn't apply to decisions like brand new cars, big TV's or fancy shoes, just the important stuff that we feel led to pursue.) We couldn't inform anyone about this publicly because typcially lawyers and sometimes agencies get extremely offended at the thought of families hiring a third party to finish the job that they can't. Our agency knew about it and was supportive. Our lawyer was not aware of it so we needed to be cautious. He still held a lot of power over our case.
So, after being back in PGN for just a few days, we hired them. Right off the bat they were able to move our case along just because they went in to ask about it. PGN processes THOUSANDS of cases a year so you can imagine the stacks of paperwork. So, when someone is physically going into the building to look at a case, it gets moved instead of just sitting in an enormous pile until someone widdles away at the stack. AS estimated that just that one move saved us at least a week. In PGN there are 3 major desks that approve the file but the actual manilla folder of 200+ papers moves through many desks. The chances of it sitting somewhere for a little while are pretty much 100%. If you hire AS for the second half, they go into PGN and keep asking about your case. They also meet with the first 2 out of 3 people holding their powerful ink pens to discuss your case.
As our case was moving desk to desk, our AS lawyer got a rare opportunity. Having been back in PGN only 3 weeks, we'd already been approved from 2 out of the 3 people. AS went into PGN one day to check up on things and the third person in the powerful line-up (He who shall not be named...) was available and willing to hear about our case. He signed it that day and the next day we were at the 'window' for pick-up. This saved us another couple weeks. At the time of our case going in, the average approved case was taking a around 10 weeks to be released. We were approved and out in just 3 weeks and 2 days. We were over-the-top blessed that AS's intervention saved us about 7 weeks. I'm pretty sure that under his lawyer-ish 'powersuit', our AS lawyer wears a cape of some sort.
Meanwhile our facilitator got banned from the US Embassy (she didn't do a whole lot anyway) and our coordinator quit her job to pursue grad school. The only two people connecting us to our lawyer were now out of the picture. God couldn't have brought AS along at a more perfect time.
Russ and I met with the AS staff several times throughout the process. I was impressed each time with their committment to professionalism and their care for each case. Many times I would ask a question about a friend's case and fully expect them to say "Have them give us a call" so that they could make them clients but every single time they would give me several action steps for that person to take. They truly blessed us and restored my belief in the idea that there are some people in the Guatemalan adoption process that actually care about the kids. They communicated to us a completely opposite view of what PGN was really like, not some horrible group of people sitting around trying to think of ways to delay everyone. Yes, PGN has it's issues but it's not the evil adoption-hating monster we were led to believe that it was. Also, one of the directors lived in Sunset Hills in St. Louis for years and our AS lawyer usually heads to STL about once a year. Small world? Blows my mind, really.
All of this happened so fast that we hadn't figured out a way to pay them. They were very gracious and patient and willing to help our case in the mean time. During Russ's last visit we were in the park meeting friends when my phone rang. This friend from home called me every so often so I didn't think anything of it and answered it. She casually mentioned that someone had just left the church office after dropping off a check for us. This person had just felt compelled to send us some "spending money". The check was for more than enough to cover the entire extra expense. Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. We could not have been more surprised. After hanging up and telling the group of friends standing there, we all starting praying right there in the park and praising God for His provisions. He just rocks my face straight off sometimes. I'm surprised I still have a face, to be quite honest.
After getting submitted back into PGN the very beginning of May I met with a group of lawyers called Adoption Supervisors of Guatemala. They are a third party that has a vast legal knowledge of how the adoption world works, especially in PGN. They have great relationships with all the people in PGN and are comfortable going in and representing cases when original lawyers are not. After meeting with them and sharing information on my case with them they agreed that something didn't sound right. I had stopped getting any answers from our original lawyer and my agency was stuck with only what the lawyer offered, which wasn't anything. It was getting shadier by the minute.
AS (adoption supervisors) can be hired for two levels of involvement. (yes, that word was 'hired' which means extra $$$) The first level is just facts. They go into PGN, look at your actual file and give you all the details. All the dates of submission, kickouts and what each kickout was for. After that they meet with you and give you a recommendation of whether or not they can help your case. Several of my friends had hired them since being in Guatemala and they were all at home, even the messiest cases. Contrary to popular belief, everything they do is legal. Russ and I prayed about it and the only thing that was holding us back was the money. We stood in agreement that when money is the only thing stopping us, we will go ahead with a decision and trust that the Lord will provide. (Sidenote: This doesn't apply to decisions like brand new cars, big TV's or fancy shoes, just the important stuff that we feel led to pursue.) We couldn't inform anyone about this publicly because typcially lawyers and sometimes agencies get extremely offended at the thought of families hiring a third party to finish the job that they can't. Our agency knew about it and was supportive. Our lawyer was not aware of it so we needed to be cautious. He still held a lot of power over our case.
So, after being back in PGN for just a few days, we hired them. Right off the bat they were able to move our case along just because they went in to ask about it. PGN processes THOUSANDS of cases a year so you can imagine the stacks of paperwork. So, when someone is physically going into the building to look at a case, it gets moved instead of just sitting in an enormous pile until someone widdles away at the stack. AS estimated that just that one move saved us at least a week. In PGN there are 3 major desks that approve the file but the actual manilla folder of 200+ papers moves through many desks. The chances of it sitting somewhere for a little while are pretty much 100%. If you hire AS for the second half, they go into PGN and keep asking about your case. They also meet with the first 2 out of 3 people holding their powerful ink pens to discuss your case.
As our case was moving desk to desk, our AS lawyer got a rare opportunity. Having been back in PGN only 3 weeks, we'd already been approved from 2 out of the 3 people. AS went into PGN one day to check up on things and the third person in the powerful line-up (He who shall not be named...) was available and willing to hear about our case. He signed it that day and the next day we were at the 'window' for pick-up. This saved us another couple weeks. At the time of our case going in, the average approved case was taking a around 10 weeks to be released. We were approved and out in just 3 weeks and 2 days. We were over-the-top blessed that AS's intervention saved us about 7 weeks. I'm pretty sure that under his lawyer-ish 'powersuit', our AS lawyer wears a cape of some sort.
Meanwhile our facilitator got banned from the US Embassy (she didn't do a whole lot anyway) and our coordinator quit her job to pursue grad school. The only two people connecting us to our lawyer were now out of the picture. God couldn't have brought AS along at a more perfect time.
Russ and I met with the AS staff several times throughout the process. I was impressed each time with their committment to professionalism and their care for each case. Many times I would ask a question about a friend's case and fully expect them to say "Have them give us a call" so that they could make them clients but every single time they would give me several action steps for that person to take. They truly blessed us and restored my belief in the idea that there are some people in the Guatemalan adoption process that actually care about the kids. They communicated to us a completely opposite view of what PGN was really like, not some horrible group of people sitting around trying to think of ways to delay everyone. Yes, PGN has it's issues but it's not the evil adoption-hating monster we were led to believe that it was. Also, one of the directors lived in Sunset Hills in St. Louis for years and our AS lawyer usually heads to STL about once a year. Small world? Blows my mind, really.
All of this happened so fast that we hadn't figured out a way to pay them. They were very gracious and patient and willing to help our case in the mean time. During Russ's last visit we were in the park meeting friends when my phone rang. This friend from home called me every so often so I didn't think anything of it and answered it. She casually mentioned that someone had just left the church office after dropping off a check for us. This person had just felt compelled to send us some "spending money". The check was for more than enough to cover the entire extra expense. Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. We could not have been more surprised. After hanging up and telling the group of friends standing there, we all starting praying right there in the park and praising God for His provisions. He just rocks my face straight off sometimes. I'm surprised I still have a face, to be quite honest.
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