Hopefully this will break the conventional rules of volumes and leave this as a 1 volume set. Although this could also be filed under the Mother of the Year heading...
Anyway, here's my step-by-step instructions:
1. Don't make an extra set of keys when you move into a new place.
2. Turn the oven on to preheat for dinner (and by 'dinner' I mean a frozen pizza)
3. Decide to take a few boxes to the basement.
4. ***Most important direction*** When trying to make sure your adorable toddler doesn't follow you down the winding staircase to the basement, accidently shut the door the whole way until you hear the dead-bolt latch, leaving your toddler locked into the condo by himself, with the oven on, your keys and phone inside.
5. Sidenote: make sure your landlords live 45 minutes away and it's a snowy, icy night and make sure they're almost out of gas so it will probably take much longer than 45 minutes to come rescue you.
I will not tell you how within just 15-20 of the longest minutes of my life my new neighbor figured out how to get in. Then you would all know how to get into my house and you would come steal our 90,000 matchbox cars and oodles of train tracks. Just know everything was fine and Eliot is now deathly afraid of said neighbor.
And for those that need to know what a 2 1/2 year-old did in his 20 minutes as Macaulay Culkin, he knocked on the door and yelled "mommy?" and when I didn't keep answering it changed to "Katie? Where are you?", which turned into him thinking he was pretty funny. Big surprise.