Confessions of a 4 a.m. shopper

Yes, I was one of "them." The alarm was set for 3:30, the car warmed up and at Bob and Margie's by 3:40. My official Christmas shopping began at 4:04 with several hundred of my closest friends at Kohl's. Oh my. If you have a degree in psychology and haven't been through this experience, consider your certificate invalid. There's an ironic sense of sleepy panic as you walk through the doors and realize you're late. You had to park in the annex parking lot, all the carts are gone and you're already lower on the pecking order of dedicated shoppers with your inadequate mesh bag. You ask yourself, "how did I let this happen?" The bustle of a woman carrying a box twice her size with her superhuman-super-shopper strength jars you out of your tardy pity party.

That was the beginning of my day. This is the first time I've stopped today and I'm not sure how long I can keep my eyes open to finish this blog entry. Some highlights of my day included, but weren't limited to:

*Engaging in a discussion/argument over the differences between BabyPhat and FUBU.

*Hearing eye witness accounts over the parking spot altercation diffused by the men in blue.

*Arriving home 5 hours after I left having no idea what I've purchased.

*Running errands for new friends (aka strangers you're in line with for a greater part of your morning)

*Being in the first group of Target patrons to make it to the electronics department only to realize half of my list is already 'sold out' at 6:15 a.m.

*Realizing how good I am at lying to those I love the most on the spot.

*Feeling tempted to grab a "this season's must-have" out of someone's cart and making a run for it, just to see what would happen.

*Join the "I'm selling this on ebay before lunch" crowd.

*Announcing to the anxious crowd awaiting the official unlocking of the great glass doors that it's snowing and it's a Christmas Miracle as if it were the culmination of a great movie.

*Enjoying great coffee and greasy eggs with good friends in between store openings.

*Putting into effect the "one for you, one for me" policy when I've found an amazing deal. Oops.

*Having secret cell phone conversations from dark corners of Old Navy.

*Coming face to face with the ugly theory of "impulse purchase".

*Realizing half way through my day that it's only 8:30a.m.

*Tearing up when I realized who all the little toys are for in my basket.