Monday, August 23, 2010

Jursey Shore

I served my country today. and I will again tomorrow. And possibly the day after that. I had/have jury duty.

Last night Russ and I brain-stormed ways of making the whole experience more interesting. Here were our top five picks:

*Make a jersey with my juror's # on the back with my name. I shall call it my Jursey.

*Wear my graduation robe and walk into every room saying "All rise!"

*Wear an orange jumpsuit and hum "chain-gang" until I (pretend)fall-asleep and yell "Not the paddy-wagon! Not the paddy-wagon!" in a panicked sleepy stupor.

*Every ten minutes or so, make the Law & Order sound.

*Draw a tat of the blueprint of the courthouse all over my arms and back.

I am not brave enough to actually bring any of these to fruition but today certainly didn't need it. People are entertaining. Which is why someone brilliant out there said, "hey, let's just let people be themselves and put it on TV!"

Anyway, the highlights include the girl next to me suggesting we make the questioning more fun by drinking every time someone asks to answer a question privately, calling 911 during our break for a juror from another case, one juror holding up the whole thing for an entire hour by going MIA (and the Judge saying, "I'm sending the 'boys in brown' in the paddy-wagon to find him, don't worry"), one girl using "like" after like, everything she said, like.

But truly, The Recorder was my favorite. She has to keep this oxygen mask type of thing stuck to her face (not for oxygen, it was her recording device. We've come a long way from Night Court. Not a good long way, just a long way.) and whenever she didn't hear something quite right, she would urgently pull said device from her face, give the most irritated expression and demand you repeat yourself. I loved her.

The main part that is bothersome for me, besides the obvious, is the moment I realized I have to be mature. I have to make mature choices with my behavior. Bottom line: I can't get the giggles. This could be a problem. It always has been.

Pray for me. As I govern our city. Wearing a tree costume (branches of gov't?)

Here's hoping tomorrow is full of blog-fodder!


Anonymous said...

I have Jury Duty tomorrow, too! Hopefully, it will be as exciting as yours! My main worry is who is going to pick up the kids from school...


Cary said...

This was really funny...I especially liked the Prison Break reference. But how would you reveal it? I would commit some sort of crime to have you on my jury.

erin said...

Oh man when I had jury duty that court reporter had it in for me. I mean I know I have a soft voice but seriously?

Heather S. said...

Oh my goodness. I am crying from laughing so hard. I tried reading this to Kevin - but I was laughing so hard he couldn't understand me. He is in agreement, though, that you may not be able to keep from giggling.