Sunday, May 6, 2007
OK, time for another update from my side of the table. Things on the home front have been OK. It's a bit surreal and actually quite disturbing to realize that "life goes on." On one hand, it's certainly impossible to navigate life right now and act like things are normal. On the other hand, the harsh reality is that for 6 months now, life as I've known it at home alone is the new version of normal (hence the name of the blog entry). And it's not that I'm just used to Katie being gone and I don't miss her as much as I used to. It's more like... missing her has become a way of life. It's hard to describe.
Anyway, the real reason I wanted to add another blog entry is because the Lord has shown 2 really cool things to me in the past couple months, and I wanted to share both:
1. I was having a conversation with Bob and Margie Seibel at their house one night and we had one of those rare moments where someone shares a thought that just may has well come directly from the mouth of God himself. Margie basically asked what I thought would be our response if Eliot were old enough to ask why he couldn't go home yet. She said she thought our response would be very similar to what God might say to us right now. It was clear what was being taught to me/us in that moment by the Holy Spirit. What if Eliot could ask that question? What would we say? Probably something like, "I know you don't understand everything right now, and but it's going to be OK. Mommy and Daddy love you and are gonna get you home as soon as we can. We wish it didn't have to be this way either, but Mommy's here in Guatemala and she is not going to leave you. She's gonna be right here with you until this is finished and we will all be together at home soon." Wow. Chew on that for a few minutes.
2. Katie described to me the night she got an email about our most recent previo. She found herself lying on the floor weeping. After crying for a while she was distracted by a banging sound. Looking up and wiping her tears away, she saw Eliot sitting up on the floor across the room, banging one of his toys on the floor, giggling and playing. Their eyes met and he smiled, laughed, and went back to playing. In that moment, as heartbroken as she was, Katie smiled. She was overwhelmed, and said to me, "Russ, he's just so perfect. I love him SO MUCH."
And that, my friends gives you a perfect picture of what we're going through. This is without a doubt the most difficult thing we've ever faced in our lives. We are overwhelmed, frustrated, confused, to the point of lying on the floor weeping. And yet every time she sees him giggling, every time I turn on the computer and see their picture on the desktop, it is totally worth it. It's a powerful picture... a picture of the gospel, really. Right here in the midst of the worst circumstances we've ever faced, we find ourselves encountering the greatest blessing we've ever known. Wait until you meet him. You won't even believe it. He is totally worth it.
Keep us in your prayers. This is a big week for us as we work to move ahead with the adoption, finances, etc. It's quite overwhelming. Thank you all for your love and support!!!!