Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Fun with Fertility

No, this isn't a post where I share the secrets of how to spice up your fertility "homework." Dirty people. This weekend we met a new couple at church and they asked why we adopted, if there were issues. I started to answer that we did 'infertility treatments' for years but changed it and said 'fertility treatments'. Somewhere along the way I was encouraged to talk about my fertility not infertility, focusing on the positive, not negative. Kinda (but not really) like in high school when my youth pastor asked that we refer to our friends as pre-Christians. (It's amazing I still have high school friends, frankly.)

I do hate the label. I do hate walking into a building largely labeled "INFERTILITY clinic." It is rather ominous. Some disguise it as "Women's healthcare" but the specialists (my peeps!) all carry the infertile card. Ugh.

Let's revolutionize the industry. Join me.

One day I would like to see a pamphlet from one of these establishments with some sort of perky subtitle:

Eggcelent care in your journey.

Making your lady parts whole again.

At your cervix!

Can't get your lady pregnant? Let us try!

Our patients are s ovary happy! (so very)

If my youth pastor changed professions, perhaps he'd call it a Pre-fertility Clinic.

If this were located in the south perhaps they could use:

Bring your U ter us. (bring your U to us…)



I don't know. Maybe I should stop eating the leftover Easter eggs, they may have gone bad by now and have started to take an effect on my decision making. Like posting this blog. Feel free to pray for me and all your pre-Christian friends.

8 comments:

Cary said...

This had me laughing so hard! Hilarious. You should submit it to some magazine...do they have those? Pre-fertility magazines?

Scott & Melissa Davis said...

I love you more right now than I ever have in my life...be a little more funny, please!

Chrissy said...

Oh girl, you had me in stitches laughing! I love how you can make lite (light?)of a tough situation.

Soulfuldancer said...

LOVE this Katie! I WILL JOIN YOU!!!

The Busters said...

I think this might be one of your best posts!!! I am laughing so hard a little snot came out of my nose. Seriously. At your cervix is my fave!!! Thank you for such a needed hearty laugh!!

Mamá to the best 3 said...

katie, you are soooo funny, you really make me lol!!

Alecia said...

Good post!!!

Deb said...

I needed a laugh today and this did it for me! Love you!!